Monday

[Mich]

I have workers in the house today....and for the next 5 weeks. We are having our basement fixed up to give the kids a place to hang out with their friends. I am very anxious with people in the house and I have to sequester myself on the top floor with the dog so she doesn't bark and get in the way. I don't know if I should be offering them water or coffee....I really don't want to go talk to them.
I am very depressed today but my extreme urges to self harm seem to have subsided somewhat. I still think that it would feel comforting to cut or take an overdose but the same urgency is definitely not there. I feel confident that I will stay safe today.
Dec 6th is a date that is looming in my future. We are supposed to have an "advanced Christmas" with my parents on that date since they leave for Florida the following week. I am dreading this and it is causing me uncontrollable anxiety. I am surprised my self harm urges have diminished with this date coming up. I don't have a relationship with my parents at all. I am not sure why we continue to go through this charade. I want desperately to get out of it but am afraid to have a confrontation with them. I still feel like a helpless child around them. I think I may say that I am just not well enough for a get together and leave it at that. My psychiatrist does not think I should have the get together. He does not think it would be good for me at all based on where I am at with my therapy right now.
I hope everyone is doing okay today.

[xn728]

the visitor has me mich
stay strong mich ,i think of you today and everyday ,try making the workers tea ,and coffe and stuff ,they may chat and make you feel good
im not much help mich ,,sorry ,,,ken

[crybaby1086]

mich, you don't have to spend alot of time with the workers. Make your presence known and check their work but other than that they are there to do a job, you don't need to socialize with them. A simple good morning and good evening is plenty. And answer any questions they might have. Thats it.
I feel for you having to make that supper with your parents. I guess there is nothing to do but grin and bear it. I'll be thinking about you for sure.