Struggling

[Mich]

Every movement is a chore today; every thought evokes pain. I am trying to stand up in the darkness but it keeps beating me down. The aching in my heart is unbelievably powerful and I need to make it stop. How much more of this can I take? I fear this will never end and that depression will keep me in its grasp for a lifetime. Will I never feel a sliver of happiness ever again? Nothing brings me any joy....and I mean nothing. My little dog sometimes brings me comfort but even she won't lay down with me today. She senses that it is very bad today and even she is afraid to come near. I am being crushed by the weight of my pain and all I can do is hope that sleep will come to me. There is no surviving this in an awake state.

[crystalgaze]

((((Mich)))))

[xn728]

would that be my life time mich ,yes all my life ,and that weight ,i know so we,ll ,but let it lay there ,feel it because one day it will become lighter ,and you need to feel the weight now ,so as to feel its lighter another day ,will i be depressed all my life ,yes but i did many things wrong as a young ,rebel ,but do you know what i enjoyed it ,i lived it was exiting ,i pay now ,but i still care about everyone else ,
i see the young girl is with you ,in your pain try to come together and this
im sure will help a lot ,do you know im so glad i did not get chance to be a child because me and russ share many things now ,reach in side to your child and find what your looking for ,you,ve lost something i know ,
and when you find it you will see thru differant eyes ,you will go on mich
i can see the road ahead ,walk it with your head held high ,,,,,ken

[lisalou]

some day there will be some relief to your suffering, i can't say when but i just know there is hope. accept that you are at rock-bottom now and that at least things can't get any worse. do whatever you can that you like or might have liked some time,play your favourite music,look at photos of people you love,wear your favourite clothes,comfort yourself with a nice fruit or herbal tea and maybe try keeping a journal of any tiny thing you encounter in your life that seems vaguely positive - sights, sounds, textures etc and also write what you have achieved each day because everything you do in a day of severe depression is an achievement such as 'had a shower' or 'fed the dog' or 'practised my spanish' and definitely give yourself a big pat on the back anytime you manage to get out of the house. hope some of these suggestions might help

love lisa x

[Mich]

Hi Lisa - thank you for your encouragement and suggestions. You always manage to be so positive for me in the midst of your own suffering. I am deeply appreciative. I have my elastic band on today and am snapping away! I am trying right now to get some relief by listening to my music. Earlier in the day it was just noise to me but it is starting to sound better and comforting. Thank you for your friendship.

[crystalgaze]

Yup. Thanks Lisa for the suggestions as well...! I think I will try some of those, too.

[xn728]

hey,,,,,,,,,,,well said everyone ,hey lisa hello ,i m glad to hear you ,,,,,ken