Darkness Reigns

[Mich]

Today is cloaked in darkness and my exhaustion is overwhelming. I have managed to have a shower this morning and ingest 2 bananas: one for breakfast and one for lunch. The need to disappear into nothing is very strong. The need to escape and separate from my life is also very strong. I am engulfed in sadness and despair and I care about nothing that is going on around me. I certainly don't care about myself and I am totally succumbing to the disease today. There is no fight in me at all. Let it carry me away wherever it wants to take me. I am hiding and secluding and isolating now...until a few hours from now when I will have to enter the world and pick up my daughter and her friends from the mall. I don't want to be exposed to that noise...to that endless chatter. I cannot see a way out of the darkness. I am doing what I can in taking meds and going to therapy but feel I am destined to live in this pain forever.

[crystalgaze]

Hi Mich. How are you feeling now? I just wanted to drop you a line.