I'm not feeling well. I feel more confortable in the darkness of my room while everyone is outside of my door. I went outside a few times to see if I could someone integrate myself and I realized I can't. I feel so awful and they seem so happy to me. It is a if we were in different worlds.
This mood is never going away. It kills every relationship I have with others.
- Hortensia
from another world
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
One relationship that you aren't going to lose. Is the one that you have with the members of this forum.
I have said before that it is great to have a physical relationship with people. Since all the members seem to, more or less, be in the same boat, (or have been before) with each other. That gives us all an instant connection. True we can't touch, or hug each other, but we do care about all the forum members.
Give yourself break. You seem like a really nice person. All of your postings have been replied to, with respect. We often say that there is no judgement here. We are just here for all of us to lean on each other.
Too often it seems that over the years, I have managed to give the "kiss of death" to every important relationship that I have had. I always found it difficult to be the round peg (me) trying to fit into a square hole (the rest of the universe).
Know what it is like to feel just totally out of touch with everyone. Mine did get to the point of agoraphobia but fortunately I got out of that one.
I would encourage you to keep trying to get into the outside works. Even if you just take a walk around the block, get some fresh air, and see some people. Maybe you will get to the point that you will be able to even look people in the eye, and give them a little smile or nod. I am pretty sure you would be surprised at the number of people who smile back.
If you aren't able to to that for a while, that's ok. Still just keep it in the back of you mind. Meanwhile I hope that you keep posting. At least you are reaching out some. I thinkg that would be quite helpful to you.
I have said before that it is great to have a physical relationship with people. Since all the members seem to, more or less, be in the same boat, (or have been before) with each other. That gives us all an instant connection. True we can't touch, or hug each other, but we do care about all the forum members.
Give yourself break. You seem like a really nice person. All of your postings have been replied to, with respect. We often say that there is no judgement here. We are just here for all of us to lean on each other.
Too often it seems that over the years, I have managed to give the "kiss of death" to every important relationship that I have had. I always found it difficult to be the round peg (me) trying to fit into a square hole (the rest of the universe).
Know what it is like to feel just totally out of touch with everyone. Mine did get to the point of agoraphobia but fortunately I got out of that one.
I would encourage you to keep trying to get into the outside works. Even if you just take a walk around the block, get some fresh air, and see some people. Maybe you will get to the point that you will be able to even look people in the eye, and give them a little smile or nod. I am pretty sure you would be surprised at the number of people who smile back.
If you aren't able to to that for a while, that's ok. Still just keep it in the back of you mind. Meanwhile I hope that you keep posting. At least you are reaching out some. I thinkg that would be quite helpful to you.
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