Deserving therapy

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Joined: Mon May 07, 2018 3:31 pm

Deserving therapy

Postby Eske » Sun Jun 10, 2018 3:09 pm

(Introduction: I'm 21 and a university student and still completely relying on my parents' money)
So, my parents decided that they'll pay me therapy, but never said exactly when, despite my questions. They told so after a discussion that started with the fact that I invented most of childhood abuse, all in my head; that, IF there has been "some little" childhood abuse, it was all for a good purpose (my upbringing) and turned out for the best (my life's not a mess APPARENTLY, I'm studying at uni despite being of "poor origins"), so they have no guilt for my current mental issues, which by the way are my FAULT.
Bullshit. I had to listen to all that bullshit.
Then they continued by saying that working the whole day for them is hard (I KNOW) and, if I don't collaborate, they might get sick of the situation at any time, pack all their things and go to Russia and/or stop supporting me financially. So, they said, I'd better improve my behavior, which means not going to bed late anymore because, no matter how much I pay attention, I make too much noise in the house at night (they say insomnia is MY FAULT); it means graduating early and with good grades and, preferably, working on summer. They said mental issues are my fault, self injury is my fault, insomnia is my fault, childhood abuse is fake, being transgender is a phase.
So here I am now, trying to study and take care of the house, fighting with the lack of motivation and the thought that life is meaningless and I don't deserve to live, with parents that will pay therapy in change for my "doing the things of life" without understanding that I CAN'T do the "things of life", not all of them, not properly, because of the mental issues, which are NOT. MY DAMN. FAULT. I have no right to be human, to have emotions, weakness. The show must go on. The performance must go on. I must collaborate.

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Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:42 pm

Re: Deserving therapy

Postby Ann » Mon Jun 11, 2018 2:33 pm

Sorry to hear that you are having struggles with your parents. Since you are living under their roof, they will have expectations for you. The therapy might be helpful for you so think of that as a good thing. It could help you sort out your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Sometimes it is nice to talk to a counselor who is not involved in your life at all. When you are done with school and living on your own, you will have more freedom to come and go as you please. I hope that you can find the support you need by going for therapy or confiding in a good friend.

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