Everyday life. How was your day?
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I understand your hurt and I wish you could go back and change things too, that it would be different, and you had loving whole parents who did what was best for you. Sadly, your Mom probably grew up w such dysfunction too which is why she swept under the rug atrocities. Not always true, but more often than not. There are many who had to grow up in dysfunction and it makes adulthood so much harder. The only thing you can do is be better than that, and choose to be happy, to find joy in life now. Helping others is what heals many who have gone thru such things, it opens their heart and when they feel they can make changes for others. Have you thought of doing volunteer work? It is a wonderful thing for giver and receiver. Make peace with your past, love who you are and have become in spite of... Choose to get out and enjoy life anyway, don't let it grip you anymore. I find that taking magnesium and ginseng help calm my mind body and spirit and get rid of the sticky negative thoughts. Also, forgiveness heals and frees you, it is a process and sometimes we have to go thru the steps again and again. You are a treasure tho, and loved. The creater's arms are around you and will hold you in hard times. Surround yourself with those who will be that loving mentor/parent you long for. <3
Just start taking the first steps without overthinking all of them. research online, then call or email. Wait and let things happen as they will. It isn't a contract to just contact them, you're just thinking about it and let them know. Baby steps! =)
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