(deleted contact)

Everyday life. How was your day?

Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, vince13, Maelstrom, Astrid

lost-soul
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:33 pm

(deleted contact)

Postby lost-soul » Thu Jun 07, 2018 11:21 pm

content no longer here
Last edited by lost-soul on Wed Jun 27, 2018 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

PeterChrome
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2018 10:45 pm

Re: My mother has contacted me not too long ago after a while of not being in contact

Postby PeterChrome » Sun Jun 17, 2018 11:43 pm

I have been in a sort of similar situation over the past year with my father. My sisters and I were abused for the longest time and the court system did nothing about it. Last year, I went off the deep end and wound up in a hospital, and was recommended to stay for 2 weeks to get some sort of special treatment. I respectfully declined, and moved on with my life. Shortly after that, I was given permission by the court to stay with my mother (my parents are divorced). Since then, I have not made any attempts to contact my father, but he has tried to talk to me. Personally,

I feel that the grudge that you feel towards your mother is completely normal, and should not be overlooked.

At face value, there are a few options that you have after asking the question

'what do I expect to have in my relationship with my mother?'

If you are able to forgive what your mom has done to you, it may be that you have gone through a major emotional change and are ready to bury the hatchet with her. Understanding her morals and what kind of person she is may help you find an answer.
On the other hand, it may not be the time for her to receive your forgiveness and mercy. It may be very well possible that just as you may not be ready to move on that she won't be ready to accept that what she has done to you has ruined a part of you. If she can't seem to understand how you're feeling nor learn from her mistakes, it could be that she isn't someone you need in your life.

Trust your judgement.

If your mom isn't willing to talk about what she brushed 'under the rug' then I wouldn't make an effort to communicate with her. She should own up to what she did to you.

Is she making an effort to talk to you on a regular basis? Does she want to spend time with you outside of the house? These are just a couple of questions that may help you find what your heart is telling you to do.

Me personally, I no longer communicate with my father because I cannot forgive what he has done to not just me but my family. I understand however that your situation is very different than mine, but I couldn't ignore another person with parent problems.

Your words matter,
~ Peter Chrome

du4mmb
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2016 5:03 pm

Re: My mother has contacted me not too long ago after a while of not being in contact

Postby du4mmb » Mon Jun 18, 2018 6:34 am

I'm sorry that you are reminded of old wounds, when you certainly don't need to be. And, I don't think we need to be reminded that it takes two to make a relationship work. Having said that, in my opinion, your Mom should be in a better position to help you first. Your Mom having had a longer time to correct her past mistakes. In my relationships, it helps to be the one to forgive the other. It seems to help the other person let their guard down. It's not the perfect solution, but it does help. Communicating how you feel instead of keeping things "inside," or assuming the other person should know better seems to help too. Please keep on trying; after all, she is your Mom. Take care!


Return to “Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 223 guests