trouble with my marriage, needing to drink more
Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 2:47 pm
Hi Everyone,
I am new to this forum. I really need someone to talk to and with people who understand what it's like living with anxiety and depression.
I have been married to my husband for 4 years now, known each other for 10 years. We fight a lot and it seems to be getting worse but we still have really good moments too, I love him a lot.
Recently my husband came to me and told me about a fantasy of his, for me to sleep with another man as the jealousy really turns him on. I was so conflicted with this as I am very loyal and have always had trust issues (my dad cheated on my mum). It made me feel sick that I this idea was put upon me, I felt a bit pressured but at the same time I thought It could be fun. I have only ever had one partner, my husband. It terrified me that it could damage our relationship.
So I contacted a friend I'd known for years who I knew liked me sexually. We ended up spending the night together and I told my husband all about it. He was really into it at the time and said how much it turned him on.
Weeks later he brings it during arguments and calls me a b*tch, w*hore and c*unt. Saying I shouldn't have let this guy c*um in me and all kinds of nasty things. I try telling him that this was actually HIS idea and I felt pressured. I feel like it has ruined our relationship.
I also have developed feelings for this friend and think about him all the time now, but I still love my husband too. I already have anxiety badly and this is making my life a living hell every day. I'm drinking a lot more, even at work sometimes which is the scariest thing. I hate who I've become. I've given up with healthy eating, exercising and generally feel I'm worthless. I don't know where to go from here.
I must also say I am from another country, it is just me living here with my husband in his country.
Can anyone offer me some advice? Everything is just a mess.
I am new to this forum. I really need someone to talk to and with people who understand what it's like living with anxiety and depression.
I have been married to my husband for 4 years now, known each other for 10 years. We fight a lot and it seems to be getting worse but we still have really good moments too, I love him a lot.
Recently my husband came to me and told me about a fantasy of his, for me to sleep with another man as the jealousy really turns him on. I was so conflicted with this as I am very loyal and have always had trust issues (my dad cheated on my mum). It made me feel sick that I this idea was put upon me, I felt a bit pressured but at the same time I thought It could be fun. I have only ever had one partner, my husband. It terrified me that it could damage our relationship.
So I contacted a friend I'd known for years who I knew liked me sexually. We ended up spending the night together and I told my husband all about it. He was really into it at the time and said how much it turned him on.
Weeks later he brings it during arguments and calls me a b*tch, w*hore and c*unt. Saying I shouldn't have let this guy c*um in me and all kinds of nasty things. I try telling him that this was actually HIS idea and I felt pressured. I feel like it has ruined our relationship.
I also have developed feelings for this friend and think about him all the time now, but I still love my husband too. I already have anxiety badly and this is making my life a living hell every day. I'm drinking a lot more, even at work sometimes which is the scariest thing. I hate who I've become. I've given up with healthy eating, exercising and generally feel I'm worthless. I don't know where to go from here.
I must also say I am from another country, it is just me living here with my husband in his country.
Can anyone offer me some advice? Everything is just a mess.