Everyday life. How was your day?
2 posts • Page 1 of 1
It all started with a sick feeling I felt in my gut. I woke up one morning feeling a little sick in my stomach, I assumed it was just a bug and continued about my normal Halloween day (Aka sleeping through most of it) I woke up with the same sick feeling but it felt more like something bad was behind the corner. I tried to ignore the persistent gut feeling until about 8:00pm, where I quickly hopped on facebook and told all my close loved ones (You know the people you really really love) that I love them and hope they are well and smiled and went about my night sleeping perfectly fine that thinking everything is settled and okay. I woke up that morning to my mom yelling for me to come down stairs. Groggy I looked at my phone like any normal millennial and noticed I had a ton of unread messages from a cousin on my dad's side and knew something was wrong. I walked through the hallway and got to the first step of the staircase and my heart sank to the ground, there stood my brother at the bottom of the steps. I knew what had happened, it was our dad. I wasn't told how he died in fact I didn't know exactly how he died until about eight months later when I was asking my mom questions she couldn't answer. I knew he had M.S bad, but I never thought he'd go so young. It's crazy to think how one person who in all textbook terms was a "dead beat dad", who despite all his flaws loved you to pieces with every bit of his heart can shape and impact me as a person throughout the year. I let his death linger and suffocate me until there was absolutely nothing I could do but become the silent victim of bad luck and unfortunate events. The weed became a saving grace from the emotions of the whole event. Every time my mind wondered and tears started to flow I knew I needed to smoke again. Getting out of bed fee;s like a punch in the face, working feels worse all you can do is long for your breaks to be able to smoke as many cigarettes as you think you mentally need to deal with the fact that sometimes you have to face the world sober. Its been a year, and I feel as bad as the day it's happened.
I could immediately relate to your post since my brother inlaw went through a similar trauma, we could support him through out by getting him out of his home often, talking and getting him involved in social activity. One key thing we observed is that he started to empathize those who are unfortunate and started to mentor - and within 6 months was back to normal.
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