Is this just the beginning?

Everyday life. How was your day?

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SimplyMe
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:57 pm
Location: Canada

Is this just the beginning?

Postby SimplyMe » Mon Oct 17, 2016 12:50 pm

I have not been diagnosed, nor have I visited a doctor about any of this. I don't feel like I am 'bad enough' to warrant a doctor visit (hope that is not a bad attitude to have), or that they'll say I'm find and send me home. I am guessing people don't just wake up one morning with severe depression; I figure it's a slow decent. So I am looking for stories from others, hopefully to better understand what is going on with me. Things like when did it first start to show? How did you know something was wrong? How often would your 'bad' spots last, and how often did they occur? That is the main thing I am looking to know. With me, I can go a few weeks without any issues, but then it seems like all of a sudden every little thing will set me off. I feel angry... like I am too hard on my kids, etc. But I don't end up angry at THEM, but at MYSELF. I start condemning myself for every little thing I feel like I'm doing wrong. Sometimes that lasts for a day, maybe two. Sometimes it passes after a few hours.
I guess I'm looking to see if this mirrors anyone else.... reassurance that I'm not the only one, and that people have walked this path before me! And if anyone has any advice....

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: Is this just the beginning?

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Thu Oct 20, 2016 2:49 pm

Hi SimpleMe, it's great to see you on the forums talking about your story and sharing it with others too.

Your question about when did it start to show? For me it was when I left school and started college. The feelings were terrifying and the emotions I felt were unbearable to cope with. The two did relate. The other answer to your question. The only time I knew something was wrong was when my mum said about I think I need to see someone. That's what did it for me. How regularly it occurred it could of been every other day and it would last for a few hours then I would be fine.

I'm not saying this so you know you were experiencing the same issues as me and that I know what you might be suffering from. I just think its important to look at every angle right now but go and see a doctor to get properly diagnosed.

You won't be a burden asking for help from a doctor. They would be happy that they were able to help. If you feel unsure about seeing a doctor. Could going with a friend or a family member help you to go?

Please don't try and worry. It's important you keep your mind at ease. Taking one day at a time slowly.

I know it's hard keeping yourself going and keeping a brave face for other people but the last thing you wanna do is beat yourself up. You don't want your kids to see you like this so maybe keeping positive for them is only gonna make you feel better in yourself in the long run. Looking at them as a positive influence is the best thing I'm surewhat's ever happened to you is a start. What do you think about this? Is this something you can do?

Please remember to keep talking to us. It helps to get things of your chest.

I hope that helps

greeneyez66
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:23 am

Re: Is this just the beginning?

Postby greeneyez66 » Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:43 am

I completely understand how u feel I've been battling anxiety and depression for yrs it seems I've been good for awhile then something will trigger it .I am dealing with it now I hate this feeling I dread getting out of bed in the morning I have a job to go to and a family to take care of and I force my self to do both I will have bouts of crying and have no idea why I mean I know what's upsetting me but someone of it is out of my control .my husband got into some trouble and some of it will effect me I can't seem to shake this feeling of what may or may not happen

Imogene11
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:19 pm

Re: Is this just the beginning?

Postby Imogene11 » Thu Oct 27, 2016 12:14 am

I understand exactly how you feel. I haven't been to a doctor because I feel I'm not "bad enough" either, and a little piece of me is scared they'll say I'm fine and to go home. That really terrifies me b/c I know I don't feel happy, but I function and keep going so I must be alright? It's all confusing when part of you wants to believe that you can get yourself together and the other knows you need to talk to someone.

My first experience was much like Helloraspberries1's experience. I went away to University in Milwaukee and I'm from Chicago. Even though the distance was so short I still felt extreme anxiety being away. I felt trapped and like I was drowning. All I could do was dread my work. I understand college is supposed to be stressful, but it was like every second I felt anxious and overthunk everything. Everyone was making friends and really experiencing college and I couldn't hold conversations for the life of me. So I ultimately left due to my lack of social skills. I thought moving home would help, but it truly made my life 40 times harder. About 2 months into living at home I thought back to how I felt away at school b/c I started to really struggle w/ similar feelings. Then I noticed I may have depression and/or anxiety, but once again......I can function, so I must be ok.

It's truly a challenge really building up the strength to deal w/ this demon, but I hope one day we can truly get the help we need.

Bloomed
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2016 7:42 pm

Re: Is this just the beginning?

Postby Bloomed » Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:07 pm

If these feelings interfere with your life, it's bad enough.

You don't have to be delusional, suicidal or dangerous in any way to need help. Think of it as a terrible bronchial & sinus infection that keeps you from getting things done, but it's not terrible enough to require hospital care...You just need professional assistance to dig out of that dark hole faster.

I am 66 and I've gone through these down periods about 7 times in my life. Something always triggered it like a move from a place I loved, illnesses with long recoveries, financial shocks, major disappointments.....

Keep us up to date on what you decided to do, OK?

Hugs!


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