IDK how much more I can take

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BabyBleu
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 3:21 am
Location: Colorado

IDK how much more I can take

Postby BabyBleu » Thu Jan 21, 2016 5:08 am

If I was to start at the beginning of my messed up life it would be more like a book.. So let's just give you a run down of just the big stuff. My mom was murdered in 05 just 3 days before my birthday. They ruled her death a heart attack. Yet, they refused to do an autopsy that me and my brother asked for due to other info. So I lose her twice cuz I lost the memories that she had left behind. I leave CO To move to TX to be in an even worse hell then I was. I go out there to help my ex and he screws me over, I get arrested and over time go to prison for felony forgery for writing my own name... I now can't get a job and I ended up homeless with my daughter. They have no Help where I lived. I had to get with a man just so we would have someplace to stay I got back on my feet and even was buying my own home.. Lost it cuz I ended up in prison cuz I couldn't pay.. I then was in a bad place cuz I was in major depression and my anxiety was getting the best of me. I have my dog's who help but my Shylee is the most important thing left in my life. I know that my kids and grandkids are important to me but only one is with me but I don't think he really wants to be. He lives in his own world and I just get in the way. I moved here to CO and thought going to my cousin's house was a good idea but from the end of April to June the uhaul with my stuff in it was stolen, then the moving trailer was taken b4 The 21st and then my truck in June.. Now in may I paid over a grand to help my cousin but she didn't care about me and my son she only cared about drugs.. We found a place by June and moved there. Just down the street just to have them steal and destroy any hope that I had left.. I don't have a vehicle to get to the doctor's or the store. There's no Help in anyway for transportation and I can't even get the home health care I use to have or the bed pads I truly need. I can't even seem to find a decent doctor. The one I have now don't care about my high bp that day of 250/103 or the chest cold I have even though I told her about my history of getting pneumonia alot. She didn't even bother to listen to my chest. Let alone talk to me about the test results of low platelets a red blood cell count. I feel like I'm dying a slow death so why not just get it over and done with.? Everywhere I turn I just get screwed over, used, abused, ripped off, and hurt in so many ways.I have nobody to talked to and nobody even care's.. I go weeks if not months without anyone even calling me and even longer for someone to come over. The only time someone contacts me either by phone or in pery it's just that they want something from me. I really don't matter to anyone around me. They all just want to use me in one way or another.. I'm really beginning to believe that they want me dead... I really don't know what to do. I really don't want to get out of bed and I've got a bad vitamin d deficiency cuz I don't go outside and I stay in bed most of the time. I don't want to eat but my stomach doesn't like it when I don't.. I think every night that if there's a god he would just take me out of this word and hell.. I'm getting so close to letting go.. I feel that people would be glad that I'm no longer in the way.. What can I do..?

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Postby 100footpole » Thu Jan 21, 2016 9:04 am

We all feel like this:

Everywhere I turn I just get screwed over, used, abused, ripped off, and hurt in so many ways.I have nobody to talked to and nobody even care's..


to some extent. I am blessed with some people who care, but at the end of the day I am stuck with myself and my depression. People can help keep you afloat, but you need to try to keep swimming too.

Tell us more please, we can't solve your problems, but we can listen.

virtualhope
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 6:54 pm

Postby virtualhope » Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:32 pm

I'm so sorry for all that you have experienced in this life. The passing of your mom due to the circumstances surrounding her death must have been very traumatic for you. I can only imagine what that was like for you emotionally, mentally and physically.

It's a terrible thing to feel alone in the world and like you've been mistreated, especially by family and people whom you thought were friends. My heart goes out to you in your current situation.

I hope that you will find someone that you can trust again and also the resources you need to thrive in life. I will be praying for you. I do believe in a God who cares about our needs and who longs for us to trust Him to meet them. My wish for you is that you will find comfort and peace in knowing that. God bless and be encouraged.

User avatar
specter
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 1:13 am
Location: Ohio, USA

Not a world I'm proud to be in.

Postby specter » Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:49 pm

I don't like this world either. Can't blame you for having the feelings that you have. It's a good thing that you come here and try to get it off your chest.

We all feel like this:


I have nobody to talked to and nobody even care's..


... Only that part, for me. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm a hermit, and I've been a hermit for many years, so there is very little that most people can pull on me anymore. What bit of government support I get I am grateful for, but I still struggle with the part about not having anyone to talk to and that nobody even cares. This must be a real issue burdening people with all forms of mental illness? What a shame. Too bad there isn't more emotional and social support out there ... that is easily accessible, no less. Transportation is hard for me too, and I'm sorry to read that it's also hard for the OP. Wonder if that'll change some day. We do need it, after all. It's not like it's some luxury, but rather a real necessity that we can't get for ourselves.

BabyBleu
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 3:21 am
Location: Colorado

Postby BabyBleu » Sat Jan 23, 2016 7:39 am

I'm doing the talk to text because it's easier it's hard to type on my phone but I've had so many things happened in my life that it's hard to understand the purpose of everything and nobody cares I've been arrested in prison in Texas for a felony forgery for signing my own name I made a mess my little brother is locked up in the federal pen for conspiracy to commit murder when he was overseas defend our country an obvious his wife set the whole thing up to get in trouble and I don't know I'm going to make it for sure I appreciate if this site more than I can express its nice to hear your voice and even though it's only words on a screen but the fact that it's here and I found it is must be some kind of scientist of the human you helped but I can handle and do because I don't want to go to the hospital where one might I can't be with my family I don't like leaving her that's my chihuahua but then plus the top it off they broke into my house my son was here by himself I mean that's not you know it's not going to work thank you and God bless

User avatar
specter
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 1:13 am
Location: Ohio, USA

Mental Health Advocates?

Postby specter » Sun Jan 24, 2016 1:40 am

*hugs*

I wonder if you can find a mental health advocate in your area? I was told, and I vaguely remember, that there are people who will advocate, professionally, for people who have mental illness. I know little about this, but if you want to look into it, it might help. Also, talking to a pro-bono lawyer might help.

Try to take care of yourself.

NormanTChavez
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2017 6:17 am

Re: IDK how much more I can take

Postby NormanTChavez » Tue Jul 18, 2017 6:26 am

How are you now? We all need to be strong and its very important to keep our inner strength alive. My brother also suffered depression when he lost his wife and his 2 yrs son in an accident. But with the support of our family he is now happy and re-married. We took him to a lawyer and this helped us a lot. Get more info about such lawyers online.

hope_sam
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Aug 20, 2017 10:38 pm

Re: IDK how much more I can take

Postby hope_sam » Sun Aug 20, 2017 10:42 pm

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