Miscarriage

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CrazyLady17

Miscarriage

Postby CrazyLady17 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 4:20 am

Yes yesterday was a very bizzare and horrid day for me.
It all started off okay, I was just in bed all day and then I started to see blood(which I know is not normal while being pregnant), so I went to the hospital and they kept me in.... They magnaged to stop the bleeding and I had to have blood tests and have a scan to see if everything was okay. Found out I am carrying twins(well was).... But miscarried one of the twins while being in hospital. Was so horrible and painful and upsetting.
Haven't stopped crying since the miscarriage and I so blame myself once again.

Why does depression stand in the way of my personal needs?

:(

In need of hugs please!

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:06 am

In serious need of some hugs...
Feel so fragile right now :( :(

metal bear
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland

Postby metal bear » Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:20 am

I am so sorry to hear that and I would give you all the hugs in the world right now if I could. Try not to blame yourself as it is not your fault, but I can't even imagine the pain you are going through so hopefully there is others who will be more helpful than me on here.

You are in my thoughts, no one should have to go through what you are going through.

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 7:25 am

Aww thank you for your reply and such kind hearted words. Mean a lot to me it once again it really does honestly. So thank you again!
Yes it's pretty horrible and it's been so tragic, this is my second miscarriage and I feel so weak and drained. Miscarrying drains your body and I have to take it easy, so my body can recover...
But so scared I'll miscarry the other baby too :(

Thank you.

(((Hugs)))

metal bear
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland

Postby metal bear » Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:16 am

Try your best to avoid any more stress this now, remember we are here for you on here.

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:19 am

Aww thank you. Means a lot :)

All I am doing is stressing out!! I'm freaking out.
I feel like it is all my fault.
I am such a bad person for this.

metal bear
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:15 am
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland

Postby metal bear » Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:21 am

It is not your fault and you really are not a bad person, try and keep telling yourself this as it is the truth :)

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 8:26 am

Thank you again :)
Really are a nice person!

I am telling myself that- but my head and the voices won't let myself believe that. They are taking over and telling me i am to blame. Maybe I am....

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 9:05 am

Does anybody else know what it's like miscarrying and being so drained and being this hurt inside?
I feel like half of me is dead inside, it's such a horrible feeling.

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Mon Dec 16, 2013 1:05 pm

The miscarriage is all my fault, I am so so stupid!!!
:(
It is breaking me apart again- I feel so drained and feel so weak.

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:15 am

Off to the hospital I go again argh!
Waiting on the ambulance and feeling so anxious and scared at the same time, crying my eyes out and really wanting mum by my side.., but no she turned her back on me!
I really hope I am NOT miscarrying this twin too.

Hugs in need :(

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Tue Dec 17, 2013 6:29 am

Hi there,
I've also had two miscarriages in my life. It is a sad and bewildering experience. One of the miscarriages resulted from being struck while in an abusive relationship. But, I don't believe it was merely the strike to my face that caused it. The hurt feelings and major stress it caused, I KNOW contributed to the loss of that pregnancy. (a combination of it all)

All I could do is weep. (though not for forever)...There comes a point when you realize that tears will not change things. I COULD have wallowed in self-blame, and told myself that it was all my fault for being in an abusive relationship. No. No. NO! There was no way I could have perceived what would happen. Secondly, I just want to say that I'm happy that the precious one I lost is with God in heaven.

You cannot continue blaming yourself for something you had no control over. Also keep in mind that you don't want to be overly stressed, because you still are pregnant. Give yourself a break, for crying out loud. Please stop with the self-blame. It was NOT YOUR FAULT!!! (((HUGS)))

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Tue Dec 17, 2013 6:42 am

Hey there,

aww I am so sorry to hear that! How long ago was that may I ask? (Don't have to share with me if you don't wanna of course)!
It does hurt a lot doesn't it? I am still not over my very first miscarriage and that was back in march this year and now this one yesterday and could end up miscarrying the other twin due to my medical reason :( :(
I've never been so heartbroken and torn in my life, it just goes to show how much I want this baby and how much I am hurting, I can sense my depression getting 10x worse if I miscarry again.

(((Big hugs)))!

Thank you.
I do blame myself though, I mean if I wasn't mentally unwell I probably wouldn't of miscarried hmm.. Was more unlikely(I got told)...
Yeah I am still pregnant, but don't know how much longer for.
Am trying to stay positive and strong though.

4EverMe
Posts: 927
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:50 am
Location: Washington State

Postby 4EverMe » Tue Dec 17, 2013 9:35 am

It's okay that you asked! They happened when I was in my 20's. I'm now 41. It's kinda funny that some people still guess me to be in my 20's to early 30's. It's even stranger to bring that up in this conversation- Lol. I had to think of something positive, I guess!

Thank you for your empathy. And, no. A person's mental health cannot cause a miscarriage! Too much stress can maybe contribute, but not your mental health!

CrazyLady17

Postby CrazyLady17 » Tue Dec 17, 2013 9:55 am

Ah thank you for sharing that with me and of course in my thread! Ah okay! Aha yes I thought you was like mid 20's erm okay.... Well that's come as a pretty damn shock to me LOL! I guess it's the way you type and come across as you sound pretty young and crazy and wild to me! Woo! I like it aha ;) anyway, back to the serious shizzle....!

Yes I suppose so.. But I still blame myself though? How can I ever forgive myself and stop blaming myself seriously?
I mean I punish myself :(


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