I just need a place to vent.

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Imnothere
Posts: 17
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 9:58 am

I just need a place to vent.

Postby Imnothere » Sat Sep 09, 2017 10:41 am

Where do I start... I am angry. Almost all the time. Wake up feeling crappy, resent sleep because nightmares are frequent, and when I wake up it is another day.
I am angry because I live in a place where people are plain a******s. Neighbor blasts loud music every night at 11pm and even the police cannot do anything about it, or maybe they can but they won't, who knows. Motor vehicle drivers hardly give any thoughts to pedestrians and traffic signals are for their reference only. Store owners rip off of customers every chance they get and when they do get sued for fraud, they are not sorry. Forget about our justice system. It is corrupt beyond recognition-- one can murder a five-year-old and get like 10 years sentence. Pedophiles don't get half as much for serially raping children. I once worked in law enforcement and later transferred to social services, ended up losing all faith in my people in the process as I realized people would do literally anything crazy and/or illegal if that means a bit of extra gain for them. People lie, hurt others, throw tantrums, abuse their rights and the media, attack those who try to help them... just to have their darn ways. Sometimes I resent my parents for raising me with morals. Sometimes I wonder if I might be happier if I were like those a******s who simply don't care.

Yes, I sought therapy. The therapist's conclusion? I need to find a way to deal with it. Technically she is right. I know in the end I am the only one who can help me. Well, if only I knew how!

To make things more complicated, I was diagnosed with lupus a year ago. It's almost like my body knows I don't really want to live so it began slowly killing itself. The illness itself and the side effects of the medicines I have to take daily bring so much pain, there are days when simply getting out of bed is a difficult task. I have a partner but still feel lonely a lot of times. She doesn't understand why I am often cranky, and I can't ask for her understanding because I feel that would be too much. I mean, considering the bad shape I'm in, it is enough she is willing to stay by my side. Sometimes I think the only reason I'm still hanging on is that I have yet to find a surefire and relatively painless way to end it. I am worthless. My life is meaningless. Yes, I've helped quite some people, and I've been offered a helping hand at some point, but that doesn't seem to change anything. I'm stuck in a dead end.

DiegoArgentina92
Posts: 36
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 5:47 am

Re: I just need a place to vent.

Postby DiegoArgentina92 » Sat Sep 09, 2017 11:16 am

Hi, dont know what to tell you, just send you some feedback. Bad all what you are telling, specially for the lupus, good luck with this. And about the people yes... a shame... Try to spend your days in the best way you can, enjoy things, things can be bad, but you can try to see how to enjoy your days. Good luck.

Imnothere
Posts: 17
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 9:58 am

Re: I just need a place to vent.

Postby Imnothere » Sat Sep 09, 2017 12:54 pm

Thank you for your kind words DiegoArgentina92, wish you good health and a peaceful mind.

DiegoArgentina92
Posts: 36
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 5:47 am

Re: I just need a place to vent.

Postby DiegoArgentina92 » Sat Sep 09, 2017 3:17 pm

No problem man,, but, remember, try to enjoy your days,, sometimes just have a couch to sit and a quiet place its fine to have some peace. If you have partner, try to go out or something, maybe...

bsbmom
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu May 11, 2017 4:16 pm

Re: I just need a place to vent.

Postby bsbmom » Fri Sep 15, 2017 7:26 am

You stating your expectations for the world, actually give me hope in the world that there are still people out there who care, and who do, or at least try to live by a good moral code. It is a sad state that our world is in right now, but I'm learning, a little at a time, that if we put our faith in 'man' or any 'person' we will always be disappointed. Be encouraged and stand strong! I am of the firm belief that we were all created for a purpose....and I know that your posting this just encouraged me....don't give up! Hang in there!

DiegoArgentina92
Posts: 36
Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2017 5:47 am

Re: I just need a place to vent.

Postby DiegoArgentina92 » Fri Sep 15, 2017 3:32 pm

bsbmom wrote:You stating your expectations for the world, actually give me hope in the world that there are still people out there who care, and who do, or at least try to live by a good moral code. It is a sad state that our world is in right now, but I'm learning, a little at a time, that if we put our faith in 'man' or any 'person' we will always be disappointed. Be encouraged and stand strong! I am of the firm belief that we were all created for a purpose....and I know that your posting this just encouraged me....don't give up! Hang in there!


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