Almost Done

Everyday life. How was your day?

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Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 11:51 pm

Almost Done

Postby sadegg66 » Fri Jul 07, 2017 12:00 am

I'm 19 years old and have been dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time. Within the last year I've gotten so much worse that it scares me. I completed my first year of college and during both semesters I had extreme depressive episodes. I skipped class, couldn't find the will to get out of bed, barely took care of myself, etc. Now it's summer, which is nice to have a break from the stress of school, but I find myself in the same position. I looked up signs of being manic-depressive and I think that I have many of the symptoms, which scares me. There is nothing wrong with any mental/physical illness, but it scares me that there is another debilitating thing about me specifically. I have so many panic attacks and thoughts of suicide and nothing ever makes me happy. I love my family and friends so much, but I can't love myself. I barely want to look in a mirror. I feel so trapped in this never-ending day-to-day bullshit and I don't know how to handle it anymore. I want to be done with everything and just find peace somehow. I want to like myself and I want to be happy and I want to care about things again. It scares me because I don't know how to be okay and, honestly, I don't know if I ever will.

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Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:08 am

Re: Almost Done

Postby cmishima » Fri Jul 07, 2017 3:26 am

I can relate to you so much and understand that it may seem to be having days like that forever.

I'm 31 yo and it scares me as well. One advice I can give you is always allow yourself to see and DECIDE

what is good, what is right, what is fit, what is for you. People with depression, nothing will go well if you

allow yourself to see the world from the perspectives of others like "at my age, I am supposed to spend this summer

like this" "USUALLY this is supposed to be like this" "My family/friends think I am XXX"

You know those perspectives don't help you to feel better. Hope you feel better.

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Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2017 10:04 pm

Re: Almost Done

Postby Georgia111 » Mon Jul 10, 2017 1:46 pm

Hi. I've been there so I can relate to what you're feeling. A diagnosis like manic depressive disorder can be paralyzing in the sense of leading a normal life. The first step is a diagnosis and then you can begin to understand what it means even beyond what you feel. I know that feeling all these things seems like the hardest part and you're right. However, you've done the hardest part by being self aware and identifying that you're struggling. That in itself is pretty amazing. Most people can sit in denile a long time before being accountable. Your next step may seem a bit harder than both of these but again keep in mind that you've done it already. The next step is getting help, you've reached out here and i applaud you. The absolute best thing I done for myself while struggling with manic depressive disorder was seeing a therapist who led me to a prescriber. Every situation is different and ultimately it's your decision. You deserve to see the best in life from eyes without sadness. Every day can be a battle and that's why it is important you develop a strong support system. I personally waited until I was admitted after attempted suicide. I'm not proud of it but my testimony has shaped the way I see life and I hope it can touch you somehow as well. I'm sending prayers and truly hoping you feel the empathy through these words that I'm expressing. Be well. God bless.

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Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:01 am

Re: Almost Done

Postby catch_the_music » Fri Jul 14, 2017 8:08 pm

You are not alone my friend. There are many people that have various levels of depression. It sounds like you diagnosed much of this on your own. You may want to seek out a counselor to find out for sure what is going on. They can help you figure out what the issues are but more importantly, help you figure out positive solutions. When I get down, I start thinking of things I am thankful for. Family, friends, God, good news articles. I try to find small things that went well today. Then I try to surround myself with positive thoughts. There is a Christian radio station called KLOVE. Take a listen to many of the songs. It is round the clock Encouragement. Encouragement is really what we all need on a regular basis. God Bless!

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