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Depressed/anxious other half/partner

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 9:38 am
by Str80
My partner broke up with me Monday gone. She does suffer with depression and anxiety. Shes 36 and suffered since a teenager. Cause from a abusive ex of 19 years. I came along and got her away from all that. Wont go in all details cause this is going to be long enough. He had full control. Proper messed with her mind body and soul. Had now space freedom. I give her that. And showed her what love is. Not abusive and controlling like her last. She has many up and downs. Most the time shes on her tablets. I always know when she is not on them. Her moods and behaviour are always different when off tablets. we've been together almost 4 years. She has 4 kids from abusive ex. And a 2year old from me. She started working again. She wanted a career. Now she's a care worker. I gave her a nudge too. For support. Shes 0 hours contract well suppose to be. I do 9 till 5. Soon has i get back from work she goes to work. And gets back 9.30 to 10pm. Pretty much she will go to sleep. If been to work then im dealing with kids. Which is fine. My child and step kids. Weekends she will be up at 6.30 for work and back at 9.30 or 10pm. That's saturday and Sunday. Get back. Sleep or have a 2hr bath and sleep. So we're not having no time together now. She said after Christmas she will have a weekend of once a month. But she's not doing that. It's a great job and helping people and money is darn good. Her firm praises her all the time. So it makes her feel good. Think that's why shes come off her tablets. Last week we was absolutely fine. Even bed time she dressed up for me. Was nice for her to do that. It's rare that happens. So things were fine. Came to Monday she was being distant and off. Lile other times I always know something is wrong. Just most the time I never know what's wrong or it will take 2 or 3 days to find out. But most the time I never know. Even till this day i still don't know. Shes not one for being open. Talking etc where I am open. Through out the day Monday gone i said love you. Didnt get a replie. Said it again. No replie. Waited till the afternoon I Did a message with just a heart. No replie. Hour or so later while on break at work. I said in a voice clip message. Are you ok and are you not loving me today. Jokingly. That's when she dropped a bombshell saying she dont feel the same. And wants space with kids and her career. I felt like she chose her job over me. But I'm not sure. With live under the same roof. Been on sofa 6 days now. In person she is fine. Still calls be babe etc . Maybe it's a habit i don't know. Monday and Tuesday talking she is still adamant its what she wants. But it came out the blue. I don't understand and I don't believe that her reason what she gave me. Was only couple weeks ago we was talking about buying a new house. We was engaged for a year and a half. I know she hasn't had much time with her kids. I have them mostly. Seems like she's got guilt. But didn't need to push me away. She been like this many times but not gone this far. Never slept separately before either while under same roof. Thoughts in mind like is she seeing someone else or someone in line. She has done it before. But I forgave at the time because it was same time she lost her father. Cause of grief i forgave. Even though she was pregnant with my daughter. It did kill me inside but I got over it 80%. But we have been ok since. And since then arranged to get married. Just wish I knew where her head was at. I have done alot for her. Changed her life for the good. Been spoilt over the years. Was even planning on taking her to the blue lagoon for a relaxing weekend. Plus shes never been abroad. To me she needs it. Her depression comes and goes all the time. I never know what mood swings or no moods swings when I come back from work. Always try to be there for her. The whole time weve been together. Last 2 week's being off her tablets her personality has changed. She dont see it but I do. I know warning off can do that. Feeling good at her job I think she thinks she's in good mind and spirit that she doesn't need to take them. Just didn't see her ending our relationship coming one bit. Has we were fine. Well has far has i know we were or she was just faking or pretending. Any other times when I don't know what's wrong. She will say at some point you can do better then me. I resure her and say no I can't. I'm with you for who you are. That's when her walls are down. I'm hoping anytime now she will say the same thing

Re: Depressed/anxious other half/partner

Posted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 10:01 am
by Str80
All that whats going on its depressing me.

Re: Depressed/anxious other half/partner

Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 10:43 pm
by SirOats
Hey str80 I'm sorry for your pain.
It seems like you two have some things to work out. Are your marriage plans still proceeding? If so, I recommend pre-marital counseling. The process of setting that up will give you some clear signs about her commitment level and the possibilities she might be cheating.
Also, are you getting help from anyone about your depression? A pro would only help.