Living with a 27 yr. old stepson with drug issues and criminal record

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RhondaLeBlanc
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Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2016 8:07 pm

Living with a 27 yr. old stepson with drug issues and criminal record

Postby RhondaLeBlanc » Tue Jun 28, 2016 9:27 am

I met my husband when his son was 19 and we married 5 years later, my stepson is now 27. Since the day I met his son, he has been living with us....3 years ago we finally moved him in our camper in our backyard. Through all this time, my stepson has gotten 2 DUI'S, numerous drug arrests, and has somehow gotten out of trouble. He has ran around my house with a machette, drugged on Meth, marijuana, pills, etc. He has stolen about $15k of jewelry 9f mine, stole a lot 9f my husband's things to hock for money to buy drugs. Now, about 4 weeks ago he got his 1st Federal against him. He won't work but lied to his probation officer saying that he works for his dad, in his shop, which we don't have. Husband works for a industrial plant. I have found bags of this synthetic weed in his camper, found him naked, sobering on smoking this and when I call his dad at work, he tells me to lock my doors. I have tried to call his probation officer numerous times to contact her about what he is doing and I get no answer back from her, always have to leave a voicemail. If my husband knows I'm calling her, it will probably be the end for us. Probation officer doesn't know that he is smoking this! His dad enables him, throws the bags of this stuff away instead 9f trying to get him help. The stepson is not allowed at our deer lease for 4 years because he can't be around guns but my husband sneaks him with him, when he is not getting high somewhere else, but this is putting me in a situation to lie to probation if they come to check on him. My husband tells me not to call him at work when his son is doing it because "it messes his day up". What about me? I'm the one dealing with it because he knows his dad is at work. I don't know what to do anymore. I love my husband but he is enabling this man who won't get a job and is using us badly. What should I do?

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defeated
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Re: Living with a 27 yr. old stepson with drug issues and criminal record

Postby defeated » Tue Jun 28, 2016 12:28 pm

Hey there Rhonda,

Welcome to the forum :)

Wow, you are definitely in such a difficult situation that is very sensitive. I can't imagine how hard of a position you are being put in. Honestly I think you are doing everything you can without upsetting your husband. But sadly your husband isn't realizing that by enabling him he is slowly killing his son and putting a lot of strain on your marriage :\ I'm guessing you guys have approached his son with a going to rehab option and he refused?

This might sound cold but sometimes going to jail can help save someone from themselves. I think its a good idea that you've been calling his PO. If push comes to shove maybe making an anonymous call to the police reporting his illegal activities might help. Although I'm guessing your husband would know it was you.

Please take my suggestions with a grain of salt. I have no experience with this type of situation and I could be completely wrong. I hope to hear from you soon. I'm glad you decided to post. :)

*hugs*

RhondaLeBlanc
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2016 8:07 pm

Re: Living with a 27 yr. old stepson with drug issues and criminal record

Postby RhondaLeBlanc » Tue Jun 28, 2016 3:25 pm

Thank you so much for the advice. I've thought about reporting but you are correct, my husband will know. I just wish that it would be mandatory for my husband to go to a professional, to get the knowledge of what these drugs are doing and make him realize that sometimes tough love is what is needed. I have 2 sons and the youngest who is 29, done all of this to me and now he is hiding from the law because when he gets caught, he will do some jail time. But I NEVER allowed him to disrespect my husband. He got into trouble way before I met my husband. I love my husband but this is not what I expected my life to be after raising my own children. It's getting to the point that I can't even look him in the eyes because I'm starting to feel some sort of negative feeling about him. We get along great when his son disappears for months, but now that he is on 4 years probation, he has to be here for probation to check on him. I really appreciate your advice!
Thankyou!


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