Nenkohai
Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 10:56 am
My name is a mash-up of a couple different Japanese words. "Nen" loosely translates as "thoughtful." "Kohai" means underling learner. I don't know if these words ever occur together in Japanese language; I'm not Japanese nor is there any in my bloodline.
I'm an aspiring artist with a 100% artist temperament and outlook on life. This subject comes up frequently in my therapy sessions. I tried to get life to imitate art - be art. That didn't work out. I started to accumulate massive and unnecessary drama in my life.
Realizing that my life isn't art (perhaps in a more popular sense - i.e. movies and such) doesn't keep me from being weird. It doesn't keep me from believing that I have lived many past lives; that truth not only will be stranger than fiction but stranger than we can possible perceive now.
My weirdness causes, or at least contributes, to feeling restless and unfulfilled. Add in the socialized norm that weird is bad and unproductive, I get depressed. Episodic for me. I might be bi-polar.
I've been trying to accept what I am: empathetic to a fault; loyal; creative; addictive tendencies. I do my best to stay out of trouble - I could be a "skirt-chaser" if I allowed it. I will not. Although, I totally crack when a woman actually pursues me - that's only happened once.
I believe that being nice to someone does not constitute flirting. I drink too much coffee; rarely alcohol; can swear like a sailor at times; and need to lose about 40 lbs.
I'm an aspiring artist with a 100% artist temperament and outlook on life. This subject comes up frequently in my therapy sessions. I tried to get life to imitate art - be art. That didn't work out. I started to accumulate massive and unnecessary drama in my life.
Realizing that my life isn't art (perhaps in a more popular sense - i.e. movies and such) doesn't keep me from being weird. It doesn't keep me from believing that I have lived many past lives; that truth not only will be stranger than fiction but stranger than we can possible perceive now.
My weirdness causes, or at least contributes, to feeling restless and unfulfilled. Add in the socialized norm that weird is bad and unproductive, I get depressed. Episodic for me. I might be bi-polar.
I've been trying to accept what I am: empathetic to a fault; loyal; creative; addictive tendencies. I do my best to stay out of trouble - I could be a "skirt-chaser" if I allowed it. I will not. Although, I totally crack when a woman actually pursues me - that's only happened once.
I believe that being nice to someone does not constitute flirting. I drink too much coffee; rarely alcohol; can swear like a sailor at times; and need to lose about 40 lbs.