Depression Understood Forums

My friend is highly depressed for the last two days. I have never seen her without a smile on her face. She is very studious and super active. She has the superpower of making everyone happy. She is my best friend and she is not talking to me. I can't believe that it is she who is sitting so depressed.

Yesterday I went near her and asked her what had happened. She hugged me and cried saying that she is an adopted child of her parents. Last day her father told this when she had a fight with her mother. She is afraid that her parents don't like her. She also has the feeling that she will lose her friends when they come to know that she is adopted. I don't know how to help her with this.

I discussed this with my mom and she suggested taking her for ( http://www.drmtherapy.com/individual-th ... epression/ )depression treatment at a clinic in Toronto. Is there anyone who came across a similar situation? Please share your experience. Is it effective to undergo this treatment? Kindly share your views.

Based on what you've written, I assume you're still in school. If that's the case, I'd suggest your friend start with the school counselor.

It's only natural she's in shock as such significant information was thrown at her while she was totally unprepared. However, do understand there is a criteria for clinical depression, and unless she has been properly diagnosed, she will not receive treatment from any practitioner, so asking about treatment at this stage is a bit early to say the least.

Also, I don't see why anyone would suddenly hate their friend simply because she turns out to be adopted. I don't care if my friends' parents are divorced or what, and I certainly don't care if any of my friend is adopted. Such things don't matter if the friendship is real.

As to how you can help her, being understanding and supportive is probably the most important thing right now. Just be that caring friend you always are, so she will know she won't lose her friends just because of her status.

thomasmk wrote:My friend is highly depressed for the last two days. I have never seen her without a smile on her face. She is very studious and super active. She has the superpower of making everyone happy. She is my best friend and she is not talking to me. I can't believe that it is she who is sitting so depressed.

Yesterday I went near her and asked her what had happened. She hugged me and cried saying that she is an adopted child of her parents. Last day her father told this when she had a fight with her mother. She is afraid that her parents don't like her. She also has the feeling that she will lose her friends when they come to know that she is adopted. I don't know how to help her with this.

I discussed this with my mom and she suggested taking her for ( http://www.drmtherapy.com/individual-th ... epression/ )depression treatment at a clinic in Toronto. Is there anyone who came across a similar situation? Please share your experience. Is it effective to undergo this treatment? Kindly share your views.

Your friend has been dealt a serious identity blow--this is going to take some time to acknowledge and heal from. It sounds like this information came out unintentionally, and if it was delivered in a negative fashion, this will be playing into her psyche. Actually, it sounds like it already has by questioning her worth among her parents and friends. Talking to a trusted adult about this newfound information would be wise, but I think a depression therapist would not be useful here. There's a difference between enduring the shock of a life-altering event and being clinically depressed for a significant amount of time. As someone who calls themselves a "best friend", I think this is your opportunity to really be there for her. You might not understand everything she's enduring, but that's okay. Simply showing up is what she needs, especially if she's feeling extremely insecure in all relational aspects of her life. Don't worry about ushering her off somewhere for "help"...be the friend she needs by walking with her during this difficult time. I hope she begins to feel better soon.

Hi. I'm not really sure how to start this reply but I do have some advice that might be helpful based on personal experience. When I was in a mental health hospital twice a week each patient was required to go to a family therapy session. It would be your friend and her parents in a session with a therapist. It depends on the family situation how well it works but based on what you've written I think it would be a good way for your friend to share what she's feeling with her parents in a safe place with a trained professional to make sure that thing's don't escalate into a situation that would be negative towards your friend's mental health.

thomasmk wrote:My friend is highly depressed for the last two days. I have never seen her without a smile on her face. She is very studious and super active. She has the superpower of making everyone happy. She is my best friend and she is not talking to me. I can't believe that it is she who is sitting so depressed.

Yesterday I went near her and asked her what had happened. She hugged me and cried saying that she is an adopted child of her parents. Last day her father told this when she had a fight with her mother. She is afraid that her parents don't like her. She also has the feeling that she will lose her friends when they come to know that she is adopted. I don't know how to help her with this.

I discussed this with my mom and she suggested taking her for ( http://www.drmtherapy.com/individual-th ... epression/ )depression treatment at a clinic in Toronto. Is there anyone who came across a similar situation? Please share your experience. Is it effective to undergo this treatment? Kindly share your views.

If it is true and she is adopted. (and the father wasnt just trying to get under his partners skin) Should not matter, they still care about her and love her right. You can have a biological dad that doesnt care at all. Is he worth more than what shes has at the moment. Of course not.