How to be a Mommy with depression.

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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Ender
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2016 3:50 pm
Location: New York

How to be a Mommy with depression.

Postby Ender » Sat Jul 23, 2016 4:51 pm

I have two beautiful boys, whom I love very very much. The oldest will soon be three, a month after that the youngest will be one. So they are still quite small, too small to understand why mama is the way she is.

I love my boys with all my heart, they are my whole world. I am posting this for advice, tips, and "tricks" on how to be a better mommy even when I feel like I can't make it through a day.

As late, I have spent a lot of time isolating, leaving my SO to deal with both boys on his own. When I hear them cry I go to them. Or when they come looking for me I go to them. But otherwise I stay away, in my room, for long periods of time just feeling like I can't deal with the world, or this..."mental illness" that has plagued me for years upon years only growing more of an issue after the birth of my youngest son in october, and suicide of my brother-in-law in December. Initially blaming postpartum depression for the intense depression that settled over me after my second son was born...it was clearly must more and only grew more intense as time past. I have had many issues with depression and anxieties over the years. I am now 30 and have been "suffering" with these afflictions since I was 7.

Anyway, back on topic....
For the parents here, who suffer with sever depression. Please help me to figure out how to be a better, more active, and interactive mother. I never want my boys to ever feel unloved or unwanted in my eyes. As stated, they are my whole world.

-Ender-

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Re: How to be a Mommy with depression.

Postby 100footpole » Tue Jul 26, 2016 9:57 am

Hi Ender,

I really liked your posts.

Sometimes on here we have people who post because when they post their circumstances they have every right to be depressed.

As a person who has two dogs, a support system, a grown child, and have a role as a grand-uncle, I wonder WHAT is wrong with me that I am still depressed. I am on Prozac (Fluoxetine) and Buspar (busperone) which take the edge off, and let me think about what I can do to be better.

One thing I've found that helps me is to tell my grand-neices and grand-nephews thank you. They are between the ages of 0 and 4. Even thanking a baby for being so cute that I can't put her down feels great. And when the 4 year old pitches in to help thanking them changes a chore into a rewarding task, even though the task might actually take a little longer.

Other people have written on here about how gratitude journals help keep them grounded in a different reality than the one depression wants us to perceive. To me a trigger is the question "Why do I still feel this way when I have so much to be grateful for :?: " I find that I often fight whatever circuits/thoughts I have that say "Nothing matters."

In the for what its worth column, my parents both found religion late in life, and their church gave their life extra meaning. But circumstance forced them to move, and they were unable to duplicate the experience they had with their first church with others. They have set a great example, in that they continue doing the things that they used to do, even though they seem like more of a chore, and return to their church to visit for a week every year. The lesson that I take from that is that happiness is not a constant ... that good habits can help your mood rise ... but that after our trigger has been pulled, there will always potentially be something that can pull it again ...

mustluvdogs66
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2016 1:17 am
Location: MI

Re: How to be a Mommy with depression.

Postby mustluvdogs66 » Sun Jul 31, 2016 11:52 pm

I'm sorry you are struggling. Life can be a struggle for us alone and even worse when you have to be responsible for shaping 2 little humans into healthy happy adults. What have you done to help yourself so far?
Are you in therapy? Are you on medication? If not, these are 2 things you need to start today!
Look for some self help books to help as well. I recently got one called The Feeling Good Handbook with exercises you need to do and write down. It focuses on practicing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
You need to fully research why you are depressed and how to get yourself out of it. These 2 little ones will definitely need you to be there for them. I'm sure you know this and it's why you're seeking help. Best wishes and hugs to you.


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