Depression Understood Forums

Hi,

Really new to this just feel like I need some advice and guidance as I feel like I could be giving the wrong advise and I don't want to mess up.

I'm 25 and My brother in question Aaron is 26 we both still live at home. He used to always be the life and soul of the party had loads of friends a very bubbly happy and genuinely nice guy. Over the years since school he's lost his way and grown distant from many friends. He's never been in any trouble really he smokes weed but has never been heavily into drink or other drugs. He spends all of his time in his room and never goes out anymore apart from to work.

Aaron is a self employed tree surgeon but the works dried up so he has a few months off atm. It's been building for a while but basically tonight I've managed to get him to open up to me and he says he just doesn't feel himself anymore, he feels like a waste of space, he said he feels like he's falling into a hole and as much as he tries desperately to get out he can't do it. He opened up to his best friend (the only one who he actually ever sees) and he said it was thrown back in his face and basically didn't hear from him again after. He said he can't go out and socialise with anyone because it just doesn't feel like him anymore he feels awkward and doesn't have anything to say and that's not him he said he's not like that but he's throwing his life away. He said he doesn't see the point in trying because he's got nothing to offer people. He doesnt want to go to the doctor or counselling the best I could get was for him to think about it.

I just want to try and help build his confidence, I can't bare the though of him ever doing anything or hurting himself but he has expressed that he feels worthless and he can't cope anymore. Any advice or guidance would be amazing, I feel like it's my responsibility now. I'm the only one he will talk to and I can't bare the thought of anything bad happening I just want to help him

Hi, I'm sorry to hear what your brother is going through. I can't know for a second what it's like for you both.

You sound like a nice person looking after your brother and being there for him. I'm sure he appreciates that of you.

I see it must be difficult for him to reach out. I can understand that sometimes you can only reach out to someone close. It's good that he's got you to talk to.

I think your doing the right thing by supporting him and being there for him. That means more then anything else.

Please don't blame yourself for him getting like this. Sometimes life can take a dramatic turn for the worse and it's no ones fault.

The only thing I question is. Do you know when this all started? Could anything triggered this? I know he don't want to see a doctor or therapist. However, it would be an idea for him to get some answers from a professional or get a diagnosis. Would that be something you two could try?

It's important you look after yourself too. Reach out to people and get support from them.

Just remember that it won't always be like this. It's a matter of a waiting game.

Thank you so much for your support it means a lot.

I don't know what could have triggered it but there's been a lot of trauma and stress in the family so there are plenty of times it could have started.

I'm going to let him have a few days of just being there and being normal with him and then I'll raise the subject of counselling

Helloraspberries1 wrote:Hi, I'm sorry to hear what your brother is going through. I can't know for a second what it's like for you both.

You sound like a nice person looking after your brother and being there for him. I'm sure he appreciates that of you.

I see it must be difficult for him to reach out. I can understand that sometimes you can only reach out to someone close. It's good that he's got you to talk to.

I think your doing the right thing by supporting him and being there for him. That means more then anything else.

Please don't blame yourself for him getting like this. Sometimes life can take a dramatic turn for the worse and it's no ones fault.

The only thing I question is. Do you know when this all started? Could anything triggered this? I know he don't want to see a doctor or therapist. However, it would be an idea for him to get some answers from a professional or get a diagnosis. Would that be something you two could try?

It's important you look after yourself too. Reach out to people and get support from them.

Just remember that it won't always be like this. It's a matter of a waiting game.

Dizziedaze wrote:Hi,

Really new to this just feel like I need some advice and guidance as I feel like I could be giving the wrong advise and I don't want to mess up.

I'm 25 and My brother in question Aaron is 26 we both still live at home. He used to always be the life and soul of the party had loads of friends a very bubbly happy and genuinely nice guy. Over the years since school he's lost his way and grown distant from many friends. He's never been in any trouble really he smokes weed but has never been heavily into drink or other drugs. He spends all of his time in his room and never goes out anymore apart from to work.

Aaron is a self employed tree surgeon but the works dried up so he has a few months off atm. It's been building for a while but basically tonight I've managed to get him to open up to me and he says he just doesn't feel himself anymore, he feels like a waste of space, he said he feels like he's falling into a hole and as much as he tries desperately to get out he can't do it. He opened up to his best friend (the only one who he actually ever sees) and he said it was thrown back in his face and basically didn't hear from him again after. He said he can't go out and socialise with anyone because it just doesn't feel like him anymore he feels awkward and doesn't have anything to say and that's not him he said he's not like that but he's throwing his life away. He said he doesn't see the point in trying because he's got nothing to offer people. He doesnt want to go to the doctor or counselling the best I could get was for him to think about it.

I just want to try and help build his confidence, I can't bare the though of him ever doing anything or hurting himself but he has expressed that he feels worthless and he can't cope anymore. Any advice or guidance would be amazing, I feel like it's my responsibility now. I'm the only one he will talk to and I can't bare the thought of anything bad happening I just want to help him

Tell him to not let problems affect him. We all go through issues, just to think of what he can do to improve his life.