Girlfriend of 1 and a half years ended it. Help!

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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metaltrees
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Feb 29, 2016 7:06 pm

Girlfriend of 1 and a half years ended it. Help!

Postby metaltrees » Mon Feb 29, 2016 7:27 pm

Soon after we first met she revealed to me that she suffers from depression and is seeing a counsellor, and a number of times over the course of our relationship she would seemingly break down crying on a number of different occasions. Of course I'd comfort her as much as possible and let her know that I'd be there for her no matter what. She'd always assure me it was nothing related to me, but she didn't know what it was.

I noticed her becoming more and more withdrawn from me. She'd stopped being as responsive to my text messages sometimes and she wasn't telling me she loved me as much as she used to, plus she was quite cold on the physical side of things.

We were in her place one night in January and she broke down and told me she didn't know if she wanted to be with me. We both got very upset, but she quickly changed her mind, and said she wanted to forget about it.

Anyway, it had been worrying me, so I brought it up with her this Sunday. She got very angry and lashed out and said that she needed a break. When I asked her how long this could possibly go on for she said she said she didn't know, and that she can't tell what's going to happen with us. We both agreed that we couldn't go on in limbo like that not knowing what was going to happen, so we decided to break up. I told her that in order for me to heal that I would need time without contact.

I guess my questions are: Does it sound like the type of break up that would come about because of extreme depression?

Could she come back after a period of time alone, realising she wants to get back together?

I suffer from anxiety myself and this has really knocked me for six. Any help or advice would be deeply appreciated.

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Postby 100footpole » Tue Mar 01, 2016 2:11 pm

Someone once told me that if you are one in a million, than there are 6 of you in New York City. I just googled the population of New York City, and that number has moved up to 8!

Does it sound like the type of break up that would come about because of extreme depression?


Absolutely. When you are in pain, then you react to that pain. We all do our best, but we cannot control other people's thoughts or feelings. If I accidentally hit my thumb with a hammer, I probably don't want to help you with your problems.

Could she come back after a period of time alone, realizing she wants to get back together?


I think if you research unhappy relationships you will find that breaking up can become a pathological behavior, a form of psychic self-harm. The question you need to ask yourself is how will I treat myself while she is gone? I think of relationships to be like houses. It is possible to return to a house, but that doesn't make it a home. You decide where home is and what it looks like. This is your opportunity to decorate your life, you decide how you want it to look.

I suffer from anxiety myself and this has really knocked me for six. Any help or advice would be deeply appreciated.


What do you think your options are? I think there is a lot to be said for listing them anonymously, but in public. It is harder to deceive yourself when you know that other people are looking. If you look at the postings on here you will see that people come and go. I worry about them, but on here "I QUIT" is not an option that we find acceptable.

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specter
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 1:13 am
Location: Ohio, USA

Postby specter » Thu Mar 10, 2016 3:40 pm

*hugs metaltrees*


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