Depressed partner, need to get stuff off my chest

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Jess91
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2015 6:45 pm

Depressed partner, need to get stuff off my chest

Postby Jess91 » Sat Oct 17, 2015 7:00 pm

I don't know whether I need to vent, or whether I need someone to talk to....
All I know is that I need to say how I'm feeling/what's troubling me

I live with my boyfriend of over 2 years who has had depression for over 5 years. When we first got together I was aware of the depression, and his suicide attempts as a teen.
I've made every effort to understand depression the best I can (I know I'll probably never be able to understand fully) but as I have suffered from stress and an eating disorder since I was 6, I know that mental illness isn't just some fad, and you can't just be cured just like that.

Over the past 8 or so months, my partner has been having more and more down days and not it's at the point where he sits at his computer in all his spare hours. He doesn't clean/cook/take care of himself/see his friends. I understand that with depression even the smallest of tasks can seem overwhelming, but I get into trouble if the house is untidy, everything is always my fault and his temper can become volatile.
I no longer take these outbursts personally as I know that it's the depression talking, but sometimes I think I'm being daft for picking up all the pieces all the time. I have a very stressful job and this stress at home is making my ED worse.
I've asked him to get help, which he refuses. He refuses to talk about it.
I try and suggest activities involving light exercise as I know if can be helpful but he doesn't want to know. I even prepare healthy food and snacks to try and keep him away from junk food, but he won't eat them.

I'm a bit at a loose end. Has anyone else been in this situation and can offer advice. He needs to get help, but refuses to. I have no idea how to help him, but I want to so badly.
I'm worried he'll get so bad, that we won't be together anymore, then is he going to spiral even more?

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 424
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: Depressed partner, need to get stuff off my chest

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Fri Jun 05, 2020 2:16 pm

Jess91 wrote:I don't know whether I need to vent, or whether I need someone to talk to....
All I know is that I need to say how I'm feeling/what's troubling me

I live with my boyfriend of over 2 years who has had depression for over 5 years. When we first got together I was aware of the depression, and his suicide attempts as a teen.
I've made every effort to understand depression the best I can (I know I'll probably never be able to understand fully) but as I have suffered from stress and an eating disorder since I was 6, I know that mental illness isn't just some fad, and you can't just be cured just like that.

Over the past 8 or so months, my partner has been having more and more down days and not it's at the point where he sits at his computer in all his spare hours. He doesn't clean/cook/take care of himself/see his friends. I understand that with depression even the smallest of tasks can seem overwhelming, but I get into trouble if the house is untidy, everything is always my fault and his temper can become volatile.
I no longer take these outbursts personally as I know that it's the depression talking, but sometimes I think I'm being daft for picking up all the pieces all the time. I have a very stressful job and this stress at home is making my ED worse.
I've asked him to get help, which he refuses. He refuses to talk about it.
I try and suggest activities involving light exercise as I know if can be helpful but he doesn't want to know. I even prepare healthy food and snacks to try and keep him away from junk food, but he won't eat them.
Tell him he needs to pull his own weight. Emphasise that.
I'm a bit at a loose end. Has anyone else been in this situation and can offer advice. He needs to get help, but refuses to. I have no idea how to help him, but I want to so badly.
I'm worried he'll get so bad, that we won't be together anymore, then is he going to spiral even more?


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