Alone on a boat

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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Corky.cup
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 9:14 am

Alone on a boat

Postby Corky.cup » Tue May 08, 2018 9:22 am

I’d rather keep this short and sweet to start with:

My mum has depression in nutshell, has done now since Christmas, it is the second time she has suffered with this although this time it seems much worse. She is seeking help from a therapist and is on medication however I’m finding it either isn’t working or it’s just very slow. She’s been on the tablets about 3 or so months now. Some improvement but not hugely.

I’m actually more concerned about my Dad who is living with her, he has described his life as unenjoyable and feeling as though he is on a boat in the middle of the ocean alone, the boat is sinking. I think he also feels like he is living real life Groundhog Day.
I know it is now having an impact on his life and mental health as well (understandably, we all know how tough it is)

If anyone just has a miracle answer to make everything better that would be great, if not just some advice would be greatly appreciated.

ImJohn
Posts: 47
Joined: Thu Jul 20, 2017 7:42 am

Re: Alone on a boat

Postby ImJohn » Fri May 11, 2018 4:29 pm

Hi,

I'm sorry your mum is suffering so much and that your dad isn't in the best place either. Depression is a terrible thing. My mum suffered from both anxiety and depression and, unfortunately, I have been a depressed person too. For the vast majority of us there is no magic wand; I'm sorry but that's the truth of the matter. However, there is always hope even though, in the depths of depression, you can't 'feel' it in some way you know it's there.

Before I continue I'd just like to say thank you for coming here to seek advice. The more the general population take depression seriously and at least try to help the better and, honestly, it makes me feel better knowing that people like you are trying to help a depressed person and are wise (and humble) enough to ask for advice.

With your mum it sounds to me like you're going to need a lot of patience and tolerance. Please don't wear yourselves out (especially your dad) trying to 'cheer her up'. A depressed person doesn't respond in 'normal' ways and if either of you start going down hill too it won't help her at all; she may even feel guilty and start to hide how she really feels (not a good thing). The best you can do, I think, is make sure all the practical things of life are taken care of. You know, the washing up is done and she has a good diet and enough sleep in a nice clean bed. Also, let her dictate the pace but let her know you'll always be there for her and she can talk to you about anything when she's ready too - or not as the case may be.

So far as your dad is concerned make sure, if you can, that he gets a break and has 'me time' for himself. Us chaps tend to need time alone in our 'cave' you know!

Finally, I could be wrong. We're all different and I only know what you wrote in your post.

All the best

John. :D

P.S. Don't forget to look after yourself too.

CamGirl
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 2:04 am

Re: Alone on a boat

Postby CamGirl » Sat May 19, 2018 6:08 am

Corky.cup wrote:I’d rather keep this short and sweet to start with:

My mum has depression in nutshell, has done now since Christmas, it is the second time she has suffered with this although this time it seems much worse. She is seeking help from a therapist and is on medication however I’m finding it either isn’t working or it’s just very slow. She’s been on the tablets about 3 or so months now. Some improvement but not hugely.

I’m actually more concerned about my Dad who is living with her, he has described his life as unenjoyable and feeling as though he is on a boat in the middle of the ocean alone, the boat is sinking. I think he also feels like he is living real life Groundhog Day.
I know it is now having an impact on his life and mental health as well (understandably, we all know how tough it is)

If anyone just has a miracle answer to make everything better that would be great, if not just some advice would be greatly appreciated.


Patience is important along the way with your mom. She needs more of a loved one support. Frequent communication is very important as a remedy. Be there as much as possible.


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