New here

[rainydays]

Hi,

I don't really know what to say but I'll give it a shot. I've been struggling with depression since about 11 years old. As of 2 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression and severe anxiety. I've been on prozac since then. I am also 4 months pregnant. I just need help and support, and thats why I finally came on here. Some days I seem fine, and other days I am really down (like today).

[Monty]

Hi rainydays,

You don't mention if you have other children, of if this is just the first one for you. If you are at 4 months, I suppose that you are pretty well at half-time.

People are good at supporting each other here.

If it helps to let us know a little more about you, write when you can.

[rainydays]

Hi Monty,

This will be my first child, I'm 22 years old and so far this year has been moving so fast. We bought our first house, got engaged and expecting. I live at least an hour away from any family, it's just hard being alone all the time. Because all I have is time to get myself down and think.

[rainydays]

Sorry here is a little more about me.

I don't work, I'm pregnant, I feel awful cause I can't even take my dogs out side for a walk. They just have the fenced yard to play in while I spend all day watching random tv, sleeping or on the computer. And I'm having a hard time eating, my last prenatal checkup I actually lost weight, which isn't a good thing. I have no friends. My fiance is working all the time and wouldn't understand my sadness I feel everyday. Believe me, I've tried talking to him, and to therapists, but I always find myself lying to everyone and myself make it seem like I'm better.

[DrDesmouseaux]

Hi Rainydays,

I know how painful it is to feel so alone, and how crippling it can be to suffer and struggle with depression and anxiety. It's exactly as you say--it is hard to be alone all the time, and that's exactly what happens--we get ourselves down and beat ourselves up. It's amazing how many things there are that we can beat ourselves up with, eh? The lonliness and not being understood can be absolutely crippling and the worst thing of all.

I know it's also hard to deal with people that don't really understand your sadness and what you're going through. Some days are harder than others, and it's like riding a rollercoaster sometimes, eh? The low points are absolutely awful, I know. I can't speak for others here, but I do know what you're going through.

It takes a lot of courage to post what you wrote, and shows that you do want to alleviate the sadness you mentioned--that's a good thing! You don't have to minimize here, or anything like that here. We want to know what you're truly feeling and how you're truly doing. If you need help and support, like you've mentioned, you've come to the right place, and I hope that you know that we're all here for you. Tell us more about what you need. Above all, you're not alone in anything that you're feeling.

DrDesmouseaux

[Monty]

rainydays,

I totally agree with the previous post.

You can just, let it all out here. For the most part we are either in, or have been in the same boat.

I know that for too many years, I had this editor in my brain. I thought abuot every word, carefully, before it would come out of my mouth. Then after I would say them I'd go home and go over and over what I had said. Analyzing it all to the nth degree.

I would end up getting so tied up in knots. Looking back on it, I realize that I was the one that was beating myself up.

The members of this forum are very kind. I just sit down at the keyboard, and let the words come out. Helps me a lot.

Sure it will do the same for you.

[rainydays]

I don't want to seem needy here, thats why I'm hestitant to write.

I'm still having trouble eating, my husband is getting upset because he's worried about the baby. I would never want to harm our baby in anyway. My next prenatal appointment is august 20th, I'm hoping I gain weight for then. Last time it said I lost weight and thats not a good thing. I am taking vitamins and supplements everyday as the doctor ordered. I know I need to eat but I just can't bring myself to make something, or get something.

Why is it so hard for me even to just take a walk outside? Or even get dressed?

[Monty]

rainydays,

If you don't post because you don't feel comfortable doing it, then I thnk everyone would agree that you don't post until you are ready.

If the reason that you don't post is because you are afraid that you think that we will think that you are needy, well just put that thought out of your brain.

We are here to help each other. Leaning is a good thing. If you lean on us some, maybe sometime when you are feeling better and someone else needs some help, you would be willing to help them out.

You seem like a good person, who just needs people to listen.

I find no problem with a person being needy. Isn't that basis of the whole game of life, that we help each other out. Can't help out if we don't know what is going on.

Take care

[aim]

Hi rainydays - sorry for the delay in my welcome to the forums... been kind of out of it recently.

It's obvious that you love your baby... I'm sure your husband knows it too. Please remember that it's not his fault that he does not understand your depression and anxiety. Those who have never suffered from it, can't possibly understand it. That is why places like this exist - so that we can support and help each other.

Please take care of yourself, ok? And please do let us know how your doctor's appointment goes. Here's wishing you well...