Depression Understood Forums

Hi all! Im Mandi from a small town northwestern Pennsylvania. USA. I'm a 44 y/o single mother of an 18 year old son. I work full time assembling wiring harnesses and components from military and commercial equipment. I deal with depression and anxiety, diagnosed BPD by my legal drug dealer aka psychiatrist.

I have a hard time socializing and feel anxious most of the time when Im out of my house. I have only ever been in 1 serious relationship my entire life and no it wasnt with my sons father. Meeting people has never been easy for me and after isolating myself for 19 years, I dont know how to go about meeting people in a healthy way. Ive tried dating sites. They are a joke. Im struggling with faith so church isnt realy the answer. All we have here are churches and bars.

All that said, I am hoping to find some likeminded people and make friends who understand and can share pointers or support with me and I will do the same if possible.

Hi Mandi,
I can relate to your struggles with meeting people. Being from a small town in the bible belt, there's not much here but churches and bars, and I'm not comfortable with them either.
Take care,
D

It's gotten more difficult to meet people, I think. We have more reasons to be suspicious of one another when we're just out and about.

One thing I have come to enjoy is just making small talk with people, like when I'm in line at a store, or in the waiting room at the doc's office. It often surprises people in the loveliest way, and it's gratifying to be the reason someone smiled or laughed. It took me a while to become comfortable doing it, but once I got brave enough, the reactions were so nice it made me want to do it more. It makes some of the most mundane tasks a little special.

One way I've approached it is by having my own rule: If I notice someone has particularly pretty hair, or a great outfit, or cool shoes, or whatever, I tell them. It's another one of those things that surprises people in a nice way. Sometimes, it ends with a "Thank you," and other times, it starts a little conversation.

That might be a low-risk, low-effort way for you to start to develop some comfort with meeting people.

Since you work full-time, you may have opportunities to connect with coworkers or attend work-related events. Building relationships with colleagues, even if they're strictly professional at first, can sometimes lead to friendships outside of work. retro bowl