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[azureblue]

Hi! Just thought I'd introduce myself. I am 34, married for 8 years, and the mother of a wonderful 6 year old daughter. I have battled depression and anxiety off and on for my whole life it seems. I have been on various medications over the years and hit a very bad place August of 07. The worst depression I have ever had. I was on multiple meds until August of 08. See, the thing with me and meds...I take them until I have felt better for a while and then I stop taking them. I get to a place where I am tired of taking medications and just cannot stand the thought of taking them another day. I am usually OK for a while and then, like now, the depression and anxiety come back. It is the strangest feeling when it comes back. Like I feel the fingers of it gripping my brain and I know there is no stopping it. My husband trys to understand, but he gets very frustrated with me when I stop taking my meds. I keep to myself a lot and neglect my friends. I am more comfortable talking by email or letter, but most of my friends are "talkers" and prefer to communicate that way. I have very low self esteem and do not like to do things, so I avoid people and as a result am very lonely. I work, come home, take care of my daughter and go to bed. Get up and repeat, 5 days a week. It is so very lonesome. My husband works 2nd shift and I literally do not see him, and only talk to him for about 10 minutes a day during the week.

Gosh, I am sorry to ramble on. I am glad to have found this site.

[Emotional_77]

It's ok to ramble on, we are hear to listen (or read) your thoughts and whatever you have to tell us.

Anyway, welcome to the site and I hope you like it hear.

Would thinking of how you will eventually feel when stopping the meds, help you stay on them?

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hi azureblue,

Some meds take awhile to really starting working properly. Sounds like you get through that period of time and then stop. Perhaps continue doing what the doctor ordered concerning the medication?

I don't like taking meds myself, but do it daily. Figured I have gotten this far, feeling somewhat human, so start at square one again? If that makes sense.

There is a chat room connected with this forum. Maybe come in and give it a try, nice to have people that do understand the feelings of depression, the meds, the whole situation. Hope to see you there.

Warmie