Depression Understood Forums

Hi, I’m 48, and just went through a divorce from a very controlling person 2 yr ago. He ended up marrying my best friend. So there’s that. I am almost an empty nester, 1 child will be going to college next year, and the other one looks like he will never leave the house. He has Asperger’s and mental issues.
I feel like I have spent all my time since the divorce looking for a man. I’m fairly attractive, and I seem to catch them, but it never works out. Facing the world alone is tough for me.
My house is out of control, not like hoarders, but filthy and cluttered. I feel overwhelmed with it.
So here I am, in the middle of another new relationship which I am panicked is not working. I feel like he will never accept my son, and I’m already dreading the “blow off” and expecting it.
I cry a lot, wanting to “start over” in life and dreading living til the end. Not suicidal, just waiting.
I’m not like this all the time. When it hits me, it’s bad.
Thanks.

Welcome aboard, friend.
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know how difficult and painful it must be for you during this time. Have you ever considered talking with a counselor/therapist? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort and provide the strength and help you need at this time. Please know that you can always come here to share, and I’m here to support you. Stay strong. Love & hugs to you!

littlestarsmum wrote:Welcome aboard, friend.
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. I know how difficult and painful it must be for you during this time. Have you ever considered talking with a counselor/therapist? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort and provide the strength and help you need at this time. Please know that you can always come here to share, and I’m here to support you. Stay strong. Love & hugs to you!

Thank you. I do talk to a counselor, but she relates to me more as a friend, so I need to find another. Your warm welcome is appreciated!

I am so sorry to hear how your life circumstances have brought you to a place of defeat. You are not alone! Though I have not experienced the same things, I understand the feeling of being stuck and not knowing how life can get any better. Have you considered talking with someone - maybe a counselor? My sister has suffered with depression at different times in her life and has really benefited from talking with a counselor. It has helped her gain some perspective on her circumstances. Just a thought! I am praying that you will find joy in the middle of the "mess"!

justanote wrote:I am so sorry to hear how your life circumstances have brought you to a place of defeat. You are not alone! Though I have not experienced the same things, I understand the feeling of being stuck and not knowing how life can get any better. Have you considered talking with someone - maybe a counselor? My sister has suffered with depression at different times in her life and has really benefited from talking with a counselor. It has helped her gain some perspective on her circumstances. Just a thought! I am praying that you will find joy in the middle of the "mess"!

Thank you for the welcome! I do need a new therapist, this one is not working for me. We are
mire friends. Wishing the best for you and your sister also.

I can relate to some of what you're going through. I have been through a divorce and I know what it's like to not feel depressed all the time but when you do it's awful. I also was seeing a counselor whom seemed more like a friend than a counselor. I finally stopped seeing her because I was paying her for the same thing I could talk to my girlfriends with...for free. While I appreciated the relationship, I needed something deeper. You are only 2 years post divorce and I have read that it can take a few years for the effects of it to dissipate...and that's only if you're seeking healing. It sounds like you are but just haven't gotten past that hump yet. I believe you will and I believe you will endure through this time in your life and come away from it a woman who can help others. I have tried to look at my circumstances in that way and it really helps me to see the bigger picture. I truly hope and pray you will continue your journey with strength, courage and hope. God bless you!!!

I have been where you are in terms of a divorce from a controlling person. Please know that you absolutely did the right thing getting away from that situation!!! Something that helped me when I left my ex was to read a book called "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beatty - not quite sure of the spelling. She has a tape, too. Having No children, I can't address the other issues, but I can sympathize with the empty nest feeling, as my family has all moved away. It gets lonely, but is getting a little easier. I am Diann and am 67. Feel free to email to chat
at [email protected]. Oh yes, I am new, too.