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VenusFlower
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 11:11 pm

New Member

Postby VenusFlower » Tue Jul 31, 2018 11:22 pm

Hello, this is my first time using a support forum so I'll try my best to keep this post short, sorry in advance if it gets long.
I'm 16 years old, I live with my mom, my dad died when I was 11. I'm the only left in the house with my mom because my siblings are all older.
Ever since I was little my parents have always "forced" me to be a Christian. Now I'm fine with whatever people believe, to each their own. I personally don't identify with it.
But my mom has been going to extra services or something along the lines of that. It's an end of world conference about how the world is ending around us. I tried telling her that I don't like conferences like that because I would like to believe I have a future. She told me that I don't understand because I'm not a strong enough Christian and that I need to get over it because it's happening soon.
Whenever she talks about it I get so depressed and I just hate being at home because she makes me feel like nothing I do has any meaning, so what's the point of continuing? I hate being at home, and I can't talk to any of my siblings because they'll just say it right back to my mom and she'll never let me be at peace again. I feel so helpless and sad, I don't feel anything anymore except hurt. What do I do?

KimmyO
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:10 pm

Re: New Member

Postby KimmyO » Wed Aug 01, 2018 7:01 pm

Hello Venus Flower, welcome!
It is sad she is pushing you into that, your belief system should be your own, especially at your age. No one can force someone to be a Christian or any belief, it just doesn't work that way, and in the end pushes you further away. While you are with her, it is hard to go against her, at least verbally or in actions. You have to decide in your own heart what you believe and research it yourself. Also, we could never know the end of days, that is beyond our decision or comprehension, and my dad used to say that it was happening way back in the 70s and 80s and it didn't. Live your life, plan your ways, and pray for a life that is full. It could be another 100 yrs. It is possible your Mom is miserable in her life and just ready to go on up and for it all to be over, but love isn't pushed. Fear is disabling and we should not live in fear all the time. I prefer to live in joy and peace and live life fully. I am a Christian, but no one could ever had forced me to be. Both my husband and adult son are not, and I can't force them, but if I tried, it would only push them away more.

RustyTavern
Posts: 42
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:15 pm

Re: New Member

Postby RustyTavern » Fri Aug 03, 2018 10:29 am

VenusFlower wrote:Hello, this is my first time using a support forum so I'll try my best to keep this post short, sorry in advance if it gets long.
I'm 16 years old, I live with my mom, my dad died when I was 11. I'm the only left in the house with my mom because my siblings are all older.
Ever since I was little my parents have always "forced" me to be a Christian. Now I'm fine with whatever people believe, to each their own. I personally don't identify with it.
But my mom has been going to extra services or something along the lines of that. It's an end of world conference about how the world is ending around us. I tried telling her that I don't like conferences like that because I would like to believe I have a future. She told me that I don't understand because I'm not a strong enough Christian and that I need to get over it because it's happening soon.
Whenever she talks about it I get so depressed and I just hate being at home because she makes me feel like nothing I do has any meaning, so what's the point of continuing? I hate being at home, and I can't talk to any of my siblings because they'll just say it right back to my mom and she'll never let me be at peace again. I feel so helpless and sad, I don't feel anything anymore except hurt. What do I do?


As a child you likely have to go along with your parent's 'care'. You can, however, have your own life on the back burner. Whay worry about your's mum's hobbies. Let them be; leave her be. You can keep your beliefs to yourself if they offend her and get on with a different hobby yourself

dixiedawn
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2018 5:41 am

Re: New Member

Postby dixiedawn » Fri Aug 03, 2018 4:58 pm

dear venusflower:

i am so glad to see you here and to read your post. this small first step that you have taken will help you immensely. everything you wrote about is nearly a carbon copy of my life at 16. even tho both parents were alive, i lived in a situation much the same as yours. every day i was forced to look a certain way, act a certain way, speak a certain way, and pretend that my family, one of the most disfunctional i have ever seen, was really the 'perfect' family. i, also, could not talk to anyone because they would go straight to my father and report it. anytime i tried to tell someone what i was going through, they never believed me. they accused me of lying because they thought my parents were wonderful people and would never do such horrible things. the teenage years were the worst. teen years are already the most difficult in themselves. but, to be all alone just compounds everything. i remember 16 and 17 being the worst. i truly thought i would not live through them. the only thing i can tell you is that you will live through them. you will get to 18, and graduate from high school. then you are free to be the person you truly are, believe how you want, live how you want, say what you want. you can get a job, go to college, live on a beach or whatever your heart desires. you have made a great first step by joining this forum. join all the support groups you can find online. make friends who truly know what you are going through and can support you. someone once told me that when you are given a crappy family, make your own. find friends who love and support you and they will become your family. i know that saying these things makes it sound so easy. you will have bad days. but, keep on looking ahead. i think that is the one thing that got me through: i just kept dreaming of the life i wanted to have once i could leave that house. please dont give up.


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