Hello apologies in advance for the essay ive never done anything like this before so please bare with me
Im just after a bit of advise im feeling very lost and extremely down and have done flr id say the past year. I have been with my partner for almost 7 years we have no children (he has one from previous relationship) and we do not have a place of our own. We currently live between our parents house which is stressful in itself. Our relationship has been far from easy and we have had many ups and downs however the past couple of years the downs have been alot more frequent and worse each time they happen. I know oour relationship is toxic but ive invested so much time in it that the majority of the time i try to put this out of my mind and plod along. Anyway for the past year or so i have found myself becomong increasingly more and more depressed (this is something i think i have always suffered with as i have a very poor self image and i feel i have a number of things wrong with my physical appearance which does stop me from doing things at times eg going outside unless i have to for work etc) I used to live full time at his mothers house with him for about 5 and half years however that caused to many issues and eventually last year before xmas i moved back in to my house with my mum and dad and he occasionally comes to stay this i felt was a major step backwards and looking at the relationship i have felt it is going no where we have agreed to save for a place of our own however due to otber issues we have in the relationship i just can not see that happening. Also i feel i just do not feel the same about him anymore he can be very demanding as in he wants to always be doing things or he becomes agitated and wrestless which makes my anxiety worse as for me i am the complete opposite. I dont have many friends i have 1 to be frank and i rarely see her as usually it becomes more hassle than its worth in terms of my partner getting in a mood if i make plans with her. I am now at a cross roads i feel and im lost and scared that i will end up on my own with no family which is something i do want im almost 27 and although i realise that is not old the thought of having to get up and start the process of meeting someone all over again makes me feel sick to my stomach. Me and my partner are not intimat anymore and if we are its very rare and i just want it to be quick so it is over and done with i no that sounds terrible i do love him but i just dont think he is good for me he can be extremely draining in every sense of the word and it does impact every area of my life i can never be botthered to do anything except go to work and if i didnt have to go there i wouldnt i dont know what im supposed to do any advice will be much appreciated thank you for reading x
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Hi there, hugs... sorry that it has been so hard.... It can be quite hard to ‘wander aimlessly’ in a relationship. Not knowing what step to take or not making any plans and taking each day at a time can become confused after a while. I hear you mentioned the relationship is toxic. Can you elaborate more on that? Are you able to raise your concern to see if he is willing to work things out with you? If not, do you feel safe enough to tell him that things aren’t really going to work?? Looking forward to hear from you again. Be well and take care. Praying for you dear.. God bless...
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