I thought I was getting better

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Courtz22
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2018 7:13 am

I thought I was getting better

Postby Courtz22 » Wed Apr 25, 2018 7:30 am

Hello, forgive my awkward start as I’m new to this page, and well new to the this.
I saw this page and thought it might be a good way to talk about what I’m dealing with and discuss with people going through the same thing.
I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember, easily since the age of 14.
For MANY years I denied it, told myself I was just having a few bad days, or that I knew how to handle it. I don’t know maybe I was handling it.
The last 2 or so years I couldn’t deny it anymore, the bad days were more frequent and the moods were getting worse.
I finally decided to get help, went to my doctor and was given anti depressants, I think that’s when things started to get worse!
I tried to tell my parents, but they are very old fashioned and don’t understand, plus they threw the “what have you got to be depressed about, look at your life” line at me.
I really struggle to talk to my husband as he also suffers extreme anxiety.
15 plus years of dealing with this but it’s only recently I’ve started to think about hurting myself, I lock myself in the bathroom with a blade in my hand and I get closer every time, I go to sleep at night and hope this is the night I won’t wake up.

nightingale77
Posts: 28
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:48 am

Re: I thought I was getting better

Postby nightingale77 » Thu Apr 26, 2018 6:21 am

Hugs..... I’m so sorry to hear you are going through so much..... it has not been easy for you all these years.. THank you for the courage to come forward to share your story. I’m also Glad to hear you went to see a doctor and are currently taking medication. Please press on with the treatment. Usually treatment for depression takes times. Healing don’t happen immediately and the initial period you might even experience some level of anxiety yourself. But that process is part of the healing. You need to persevere. Besides getting meds, are you talking to a therapist or counsellor to help you cope? Talking helps actually and I’m sorry that things don’t go very well when you tried to share with your parents or Husband. It’s true that sometimes depresssion can be something very hard to understand unless you have gone through it yourself. I hope you know, with meds or therapy, you will have good chance of getting better. Don’t lose hope just yet ok? Keeping you in my prayer. God bless!

foreverbeach11
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2018 10:05 pm

Re: I thought I was getting better

Postby foreverbeach11 » Fri Apr 27, 2018 11:03 pm

Please don't hurt yourself. I know you are taking medication. Have you considered talking to a professional counselor as well? Sometimes it's difficult to talk to our family about what we are experiencing emotionally. Sometimes talking to a neutral party can be very beneficial. I feel your pain and I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Medications can take time before you begin to feel the affects. If you feel you are getting worse, maybe think about contacting your doctor if you feel that particular medication is not giving you any relief. Consider talking to a professional therapist so that they can help you with coping mechanisms to stop you from thinking about harming yourself. Things will get better. There is hope for your future. You are in my thoughts.

Janine28
Posts: 48
Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2018 7:55 pm

Re: I thought I was getting better

Postby Janine28 » Fri May 11, 2018 11:47 pm

I just have to say this....I'm 42....had SEVERE SEVERE depression since I was 14....tried killing myself about 4 times...was on EVERY kind of anti-depressant with NO help...Lost my house...my son didn't want to be with me because I was too depressed and slept ALL the time..
I learned about this new medication...Ketamine Infusions for depression....Since I have taken it...I am off of almost ALL my medication...I'm in nursing school...I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MYSELF.....I just made deans list this semester....I don't even want to be in a relationship because I'm soooo happy that I just want to enjoy life and fix myself for ME!!! My son and I are best friends and my family can't believe how I have changed....
When I say I had SEVERE Depression....I REALLY HAD SEVERE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY....Now....people actually want to be around me! I'm actually a funny person! I thank God everyday that a person told me about this new medication! IT's a miracle!


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