I'm not sure if I have depression or not

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Ms.Sheep
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:23 pm

I'm not sure if I have depression or not

Postby Ms.Sheep » Sat Mar 17, 2018 2:09 pm

I'm not sure if I have depression or something else but I do need help. Last school year I was the happiest I had ever been. I broke out of my shell, met new friends, and had great teachers. But this year I have been sleeping more often and can't get out of bed very easily (not all of the time). Some days I wake up for school and all I can think about is how it'll just be easier if I committed suicide. I don't think I'm suicidal, but there were times when it was really bad and I began to consider taking the wheel of my granpas car (he drives me to school) while hes driving and just turning it to hit something and die in the process or when I continuously thought about jumping off a building. It doesn't help that last school year I used to be talkitive and fun around my friends but nowadays I feel like I dont want to talk to anyone. When someone tries to talk to me or makes a comment, I usually make a fake smile and hope they don't think I'm being a jerk. Since I've become so distant, my friendship has suffered and I feel awful because it always feels like I'm just awkwardly there and ruining the mood by saying nothing. Ive also been really reluctant to go anywhere but home. I have a friend's birthday party to go to soon and I dont want to go (but not because I don't like her). This also goes for pretty much any party or social situation as well. There were also times where I completely lost my appetite and barely ate my lunch and dinner and would sometimes skip breakfast altogether. I'm really in to drawing (ever since the sixth grade) and I used to draw every single day after school. But nowadays I rarely draw because I have no motivation and when I do draw I feel as though I can't enjoy it anymore. Same with my other passion, soccer. It didn't really get this bad until around November of last year and it still is going on today. I'm pretty young (about 13) and I want to know if I'm overreacting or this is all typical 'teen problems' and I'll get better soon. I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I have to write this on my phone so no one sees this. I also apolgoize for this being a long and contiuous paragraph, this is the first time I've ever written/talked about this and I just wanted to get out all my thoughts. Thank you.

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elpapiravioli
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:09 pm
Location: South Korea

Re: I'm not sure if I have depression or not

Postby elpapiravioli » Sat Mar 17, 2018 7:20 pm

I feel the same way. At the beginning of the school year, I've never been more happy. I made new friends and I have great teachers. But at the beginning of 2018 I've felt worse. I also have no motivation to get out of bed which makes me constantly late to school. My school councilor has tried to help by giving me paperwork to fill out (which obviously didn't work), I've gone to therapy, and I've even been sent to rehab. I believe you do have depression. I was diagnosed with depression and I have the same symptoms has you. In fact, every time one of my friends has asked if I wanted to have a sleepover, I said that I wanted it at my house because I hate going outside. However, I know there's still a chance for you. Try talking to one of your friends or someone who might understand. People at my school think depression is all about getting attention and stuff, but idk. I'm rambling too much. If you feel like you need someone to talk to and can't talk to anyone at school or something, then you can always talk to me (if you feel like it anyways).

I hope I answered your subject. I'm very good at making people feel better and I always feel like I'm screwing something up in the process. ^^;

kvolm2016
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:22 pm

Re: I'm not sure if I have depression or not

Postby kvolm2016 » Tue Mar 20, 2018 1:29 am

Hi Ms. Sheep - It is great that you took the time to share your feelings and to seek understanding and support. That is exactly why forums like this exist and I think you will find this a good place to talk. So keep coming back for more conversation!

The things you are describing do match some of the indicators of depression, so it probably would be very helpful for you to talk with a counselor as well. It sounds like you have not really shared any of this with your friends or family, but do you have someone close to you that you trust and feel like they would be helpful and encouraging? It probably would be better if it were someone older since your peers may not be able to offer as much support or help because of their inexperience with emotional health. Who can you think of?


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