I'm a new member and well...

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lewis97
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:45 pm

I'm a new member and well...

Postby lewis97 » Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:55 pm

So I am new to this, very very new. I would have never thought that I would find myself on a depression forum, especially at my age. I am 20, and I would like to believe that I have a wonderful happy life but sometimes I feel the complete opposite of that. I have an amazing full time job with excellent benefits, I am going to college online, and I work part time during the summer. I am financially independent and I have a boyfriend whom I have been with for over a year. A few months ago my family doctor put me on Celexa for anxiety and depression. I started to experience weight loss (which remains constant), suicidal thoughts almost daily, and I was overwhelmed with my hectic schedule. I was having emotional breakdowns at least twice a week and I thought this was mainly due to the pressure of exams and having a loaded schedule. Well fast forward to about a month ago. Everything seemed to be under control, I was still having breakdowns but not nearly as often. I want to talk to my doctor, but I can't help but feel like my doctor won't take me serious. I am so young and I have what seems to be a perfect life but I am NOT happy. Something is missing. I don't want to seem like a spoiled brat who has mood swings and an attitude. Because I know that I am not. I don't know what to do. The celexa is mainly for anxiety and that seems to be under control, but I can't help but think my depression is worsening and perhaps there is a slight chance of bipolar disorder. My mother and grandmother were both diagnosed with this, and again I am ashamed to bring this up because I don't want to be looked down on and feel worse about myself leaving the doctors office. Any and all advice will help.

Thank you all.

Nell
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:08 am

Re: I'm a new member and well...

Postby Nell » Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:06 am

Hi Lewis97,
Firstly welcome to the site:) I only joined myself yesterday and the response and support has already been great so I hope you get the same positivity from it as I have.
It sounds to me as if you are in a similar situation as I am and believe that because you seem to have a perfect life and you have no reason or no right to feel the way you do? Well already in 24 hours I have learnt that we do have the right to feel this way, life & emotions can get too much for anyone, it sounds like you have a busy lifestyle too so well done for maintaining work and your education that’s more than I can do! :)
Its also not actually our fault that we feel this way and a little help and support from friends, families & professionals may be all we need.
Have you called your doctor yet to make an appointment?
I had the same concern as you that my doctor will think I’m too young and just being silly. So I have arranged a phone consulatation with the doctor first rather than a face to face appointment as I feel like I then have a guard and if it does go wrong I can just hang up. Would this maybe be an option for you? Speak to the doctor in the comfort of your own home and surroundings, have some notes prepared in front of you of things that you would like to discuss? And then maybe once you’ve built some trust with the doctor arrange a face to face consultation?
You should never feel ashamed or feel put down to discuss mental health/ bipolar, I think you are very brave sharing that with us and I believe you have the strength to share that with the doctor. I think it’s very important that you discuss that with them as you said there is a family history.
There are lots of similar stories on various posts, I found it very useful having a look around the website and reading different comments.
Im very sorry if this doesn’t help you at all.
But please keep us updated:)
Nell.

howiesmom1
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 4:11 pm

Re: I'm a new member and well...

Postby howiesmom1 » Thu Mar 15, 2018 4:27 pm

I am so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and have been on stable meds for over 15 years now. For me, getting healthy meant being my own advocate for finding the right doctor who in turn found the right medicine. Both can take some time but it was worth the work and patience. I went through 3 doctors before finding the one who diagnosed me correctly and another year to determine the best meds for me. Have you considered seeking another doctor and sharing Bipolar runs in the family? Praying for you.


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