New member - advice needed

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Nell
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:08 am

New member - advice needed

Postby Nell » Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:31 am

Hi, I haven’t done anything like this before so it’s all very new too me.
I’ve read a lot of the posts and realised that a lot of people are gaining some really good advice and comfort so thought I’d give it a try.
I haven’t yet spoken to my GP but I have a phone consultation booked for Monday morning.
I realise that for a few months now I have gradually been getting worse but was unwilling to admit that anything was wrong. Although this weekend was a pretty bad one.
I’m getting really worried/anxious about speaking to my GP and wondering if I am just going to be wasting their time.
I have several depression symptoms, I feel constantly tired & run down, I cry several times a day but only times when I’m on my own so at night/in the shower etc (quite often no particular reason Why, I just feel really overwhelmed and sad), I am easily agitated and I’ve found i am becoming increasingly paranoid. It’s now starting to effect my day to day life and relationships which is why I know I need to seek help.
I wondered how people approach the subject with their doctor? What opening lines? I don’t want to start the phone call with I think I’m depressed and then just have silence.
I don’t feel I have any particular reason to be depressed and I try to pick myself up and be positive but I am honestly finding it impossible.
I would greatly appreciate any advice/experiences.

ImJohn
Posts: 47
Joined: Thu Jul 20, 2017 7:42 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby ImJohn » Tue Mar 13, 2018 11:16 am

Hi Nell,

Don't worry you're doing the right thing and you'll not be wasting your doctors time.

In your post you gave a set of symptoms: being constantly tired, feeling anxious, crying for no readily apparent reason, being easily agitated and feeling paranoid. These are the things your doctor needs to know in exactly the same way as they would with any other medical problem. It may help to think of it this way ... If you developed aching joints you'd tell your doctor that, rather than telling them you think you have arthritis.

Having said that I happen to agree with you (as a non medical person) that your symptoms are consistent with depression. The good news is that there's plenty of support here and, along with your doctor, you're sure to find a way forward. As an example I read a post here a little while ago by someone who was cured of their depression when a blood test revealed a vitamin deficiency. Their diet was fine but their body wasn't absorbing it properly so they needed a very high intake. I think it was one of the vitamin B's but I can't quite remember now.

I hope everything goes well for you on Monday. It'd be great to hear how you got on - good or not we'd like to know and will help if we can.

All the best

John. :D

Nell
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:08 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Nell » Tue Mar 13, 2018 2:49 pm

Hi John,
Thank you so much for your reply I really appreciate it. Just having someone else’s point of view is really helpful.
I’m so glad I wrote this post, I already feel a bit better knowing I’m not alone in this.
Your example with the Arthritis is great I’d never of looked at it that way - thank you.
I’m hoping they take me seriously and it can be easily worked through.
I used to be such an outgoing person who could take on the world and now everyday seems to be a constant battle, I think I’m finding it hard that there seems to be no trigger or reason which then gets me down more because I can’t help myself.
My doctors just going to think I’m a typical woman! :lol:
I will definitely update on Monday - I just need to stay determined to tell them!

Peacebwu2017
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 8:11 pm

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Peacebwu2017 » Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:40 pm

Hi Nell
Thank you for reaching out! You are on the path of healing already by the fact you recognize you need help and you are searching for it. You are an overcomer and will find your healing if you continue to search until you find what works for you!
There is no shame in seeking the help of a therapist! There’s no shame in being a woman. You were made unique and special with a purpose for good! Just because you are woman doesn’t mean your feelings are any less important or that you are looked at as just being emotional. If that’s the case find another therapist because that one isn’t seeing clearly.
When you do see your doctor please keep in mind that open and honest dialogue about all the symptoms you expressed here, are imperative for the doctor to hear. Along with anything else you might need to share. Remember the mind is a powerful element of our body function. Our brains help our body to heal or get sick. Sometimes they need some extra help. It’s no less important than seeing a doctor about a physical body issue. The mind is just as important. Sometimes people have a stigma because they can’t see the minds need very well.
Depression tends to be an inward turning of hurt and/or anger. Perhaps a good time to consider if there’s any unresolved pain, unforgiveness, any negative thoughts we are listening to, any things we are not dealing with inside ourselves?
It’s also a good time to consider how are you taking care of yourself? Are you sleeping 7-8 hrs/night? Are you eating a healthy diet of rainbow colors from the earth with healthy fats and lean proteins? Are you drinking half your body weight in oz of water/day? Are you staying away from processed foods and sugars? Are you practicing mindfulness activities? Are you finding ways to nourish your soul and find joy in each day? Some of this you may need practice or not sure what it is. Perhaps a time to research a bit to find some new tools that might help you along your journey? Remember that finding joy may be a step farther down the road. It’s normal if you are experiencing depression to lack joy. It will come back. Hang on!
I like to remember in my darkest days that I am just a sunrise away from my healing and hope.

Nell
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:08 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Nell » Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:33 pm

Hi Peacebwu2017,
Thank you for your reply and your support! I really do wish I had done this sooner. I always thought talking about my emotions/problems would never help me, but with the support from here I am seeing I was wrong.
That’s great advice thank you, maybe I’ll write down my symptoms in bullet points to make sure I mention them all to the doctor otherwise I know I’ll just babble on about one thing and I won’t get any further forward. That is so true about the mind really being no different to a physical issue, I suppose my worrying about speaking to the doctor is because there is no physical evidence to back me up.
I think I do have a few things from the past that I’ve tried to block out rather than deal with. Although my main struggle is those experiences can’t be changed or erased so my anger/hurt has no where to go! I guess maybe they have effected me more than I realised.
To be honest I really do not take enough time to look after myself.
My diet really is terrible and thinking about it I probably only have 2/3 tea or coffees a day, maybe some water after a run. My sleep pattern isn’t great either (partly due to work hours) I really struggle to get to sleep (even though I’m exhausted!!) and then trying to get out of bed in the morning is horrendous. Although I do get to lay in most weekends but again I still struggle to get myself up and motivated.
I do really enjoy exercise and I try to do as much as I can - it seems to distract me and clear my mind for an hour or so a day.
There are a lot of things I know I need to work on and I really want to but I need the motivation and spirit back in me before I can, I feel as though when I try I take one step forward 10 steps back most of the time.
I really like that... “I am just a sunrise away from my healing and hope” I will definitely keep that with me.

Avidreader9559
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:42 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Avidreader9559 » Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:54 am

It seems like you have received some really good advice already. I just wanted to say that I am in agreement. I think you are so strong for reaching out and admitting you need some support in this. We all do. Life wasn't meant to be lived alone. I think you mention your symptoms to your doctor just like you listed them here. I am sure that doctors handle these issues more frequently than we realize. Though it may be new for us to admit it to someone else, other people have been there before, also. Hugs! I hope and pray you find the answers you are looking for so that you can enjoy your life to the fullest.

Peacebwu2017
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 8:11 pm

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Peacebwu2017 » Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:46 pm

Nell- Great idea writing down your symptoms and highlighted points about your experiences before you see the doctor. I oftentimes find my mind can forget in the moments, especially if there's any anxiety or distractions. I find it's a much faster approach and it makes sure I don't get lost on things brought up that switch my gears of thinking. Please don't give yourself any opportunity for guilt or shame! We can't go back to fix things, so wishing we had really isn't kind to ourselves. I loved learning the truth that I have done the best I could at any given time and it's good enough! I have found in life when we want to make changes we often take one step forward and two steps back, in the beginning. We have to remember change is like a cleaning project. 1. we begin to see the mess and seeing seems to magnify every little thing 2. we start to dig in and it can seem like a whirlwind of activity but more mess than clean 3. We begin to see little areas of organization, little wins 4. before we know it we have hit overcoming and we are seeing more clean and wins than mess 5. we overcame and just have maintenance to maintain. Often in change we can go back and forth between more mess to less mess. I like to think of this analogy when I remember the challenge of changing habits. It's like a big garage project! It gives me grace to allow the times it's hard and feels overwhelming. I think we can get tripped up when we think we are abnormal, overwhelmed, and don't "see" the wins right away. Perseverance is the key. You got this! We all have many things that ebb and flow in our lives to work on. Life is a journey of persistence and learning. When we stop learning we stop growing. I have a lot of health knowledge and yet I go through stages I feel very unmotivated to work on an aspect that fell by the wayside, for whatever valid reason I have at the moment. It's ok! I realize when I am feeling stuck it's the perfect time to gather a team of support, accountability and hang out with others that are overcoming in the area I want to change. Eventually, other people can encourage and help lift us to the motivation we were lacking, at the time. Sometimes, we just need rest too and it's ok to take a time to restore and reset. Way to go for recognizing that and finding the support you need, right here, right now! I struggle with insomnia. Lately, with the time change I have really had a hard time getting to sleep before 12:30a-1a and woke up 2-3 times a night until the alarm goes off at 6:15a. It's not enough sleep! I am exhausted and wired, just like you were mentioning. I practice some good things like amber glasses if I watch a movie before bed but most the time try not to watch tv. I too get into habits of not taking very good care of myself, even though my health journey requires me to take better care than most it can be times it's not enough. It's easy to fall into tendencies where we allow the days to use us all up and forget we are vessels that need to be refilled with light, energy, and hope. If we don't take care of our vessel how can we serve others with an empty cup? It's a great reminder for all of us every day to set a priority on self-care. Thank you for reminding us all. It's also ok that we aren't perfect and have areas we can work on. Keep your head up high because you are good enough! That's awesome you have exercise as an outlet and you like doing it! So healthy!

Nell
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:08 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Nell » Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:23 pm

Thank you Avidreader9559 and Peacebwu2017 for your kind words and support! :)
It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one experiencing these feelings and having some advice on different ways to look at it and deal with it is helping me so much.
Peacebwu you have some really great ways of looking at things and dealing with them, I really admire you for that and I am definitely going to remember those in my down times - so thank you
Sounds like we both need to look after ourselves more! But so hard when you just don’t have the motivation to do it right?

I am really really REALLY freaking out today about talking to the doctor tomorrow. I’m so scared I’m going to back out. I’ll be so disappointed if I do but I’m really not feeling confident about talking to them as the time gets closer.
So many questions and scenarios going round in my head as to what could happen.

Nell
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:08 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Nell » Mon Mar 19, 2018 8:57 am

Wow I don’t think I could of asked for a nicer doctor. She was really understanding. Said to arrange a face to face appointment with her asap but too have a look at some websites in the meantime. Praised me and told me I’m safe and doing well. Such a lovely doctor I couldn’t of asked for it to go better.
Feeling much more positive about it now!

Avidreader9559
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 11:42 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Avidreader9559 » Wed Mar 21, 2018 4:56 pm

I am so glad that you had a good experience with your doctor. You are strong. Don't ever forget it. Write it on your mirror or post it notes or whatever it takes to remember that. Blessings to you! :D

Dominique12
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2018 7:14 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Dominique12 » Thu Mar 22, 2018 7:16 am

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Nell
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:08 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Nell » Sun Mar 25, 2018 2:45 pm

Thank you Avidreader, I have actually just written some notes (one for my car every morning & mirror) so thank you for that idea much more positive start to the morning! :)

Moira
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2018 5:09 pm

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Moira » Thu Apr 19, 2018 5:51 pm

Hi Niel it took me years before I admitted I truly have a physical problem. I can't snap out of it. So, I just went in to my GP and said I think I'm depressed, and have been since I was a child. She asked me some questions and agreed, I am suffering from depression. I was prescribed an amazing medication that coupled with counseling has worked wonders for me over the years. It's no longer the stigma it was when I was growing up. My parents don't believe you can be depressed and not snap out of it. Don't worry there is help out there.

Janine28
Posts: 48
Joined: Wed Apr 18, 2018 7:55 pm

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby Janine28 » Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:25 pm

Diarrhea of the mouth!!! Tell your doctor everything no matter how embarrassed or ashamed you might feel because I can guarantee you that your doctor has heard it all before! And if a doctor puts you on medication....take it! There is no shame haing to take meds! Would you tell someone that' diabetic to stop taking there meds?? that the diabetes is all in their head??? NO!!! Mental illness works just the same! Something may be "broken" within us that needs to be fixed in order to get better! If the medication he gives you isn't really working, then let him know because there are SO MANY options! Don't give up on yourself and don't ever stop shooting for the person you want to be!
Janine

nu168
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2018 8:24 am

Re: New member - advice needed

Postby nu168 » Mon Apr 23, 2018 12:33 pm

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