What is depression.

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Pvid
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2017 3:54 pm

What is depression.

Postby Pvid » Thu Nov 16, 2017 4:06 pm

Depression to me is like carryong an evil twin on your back. Hpwever hard you try to shrug him off its impossible.

As soon as you wake he is there. Crudely whispering in your ears all the self negativity you need to hate yourself.

His engine is so robust that he is forever relentless. Even in your supposed hours of peace, while you try to grab some sanctuary in your sleep he is present.

One of the hardest things for some peiple in life is positive self affirmations. He knows this and he has one goal - your end by your own hand.

The only respite that seems to work is also his brother - drink and drugs. Even that respite is ahort lived and detrimental to your longevity.

He doesnt care. All he cares about is delivering 10 negative comments to your one positive one.

To top all this off, he takes all your energy, motivation and passion for life for this service.

Where is his opposite? Where is my angel? The kind one. Why cant he show up for once and pull the evil from around my neck.

I want to survive but he is grinding me down.

seekingpurpose2018
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2018 3:35 pm

Re: What is depression.

Postby seekingpurpose2018 » Sat Jan 13, 2018 7:42 pm

I was just thinking of how to define the depression I've been experiencing.
It so much more than feelings, thoughts, and unresolved fear.
Lately, I wake up just in pain, totally in pain. From my chest to my head, neck and knees. I can stop the "Debbie Downer" ish that comes out of my mouth and resides in my head all day, all the time, in dreams, through insomnia.

Depression is real because disappointment is real.
Depression is real because trust can and is often violated too many times.
Depression is real because there are too many people who have been given the right to determine who you are and who you should be for their benefit with little regard of your feelings or return of your invested contribution.
Depression is real because family members won't admit they are or have been depressed too, so therefore, have difficulty relating to you.
Depression is real because friends have limited capacity to handle your wounded energy.
Depression is real because the world of therapy requires you to have enough mental capacity to weed out the uncaring, judgmental therapists. You know the type, prescribe medicines before trying anything else, cut you off during "talk" therapy, and always, always end up telling you to do more this and that to win over depression. Its up to you to stop it. Really? Cause if that was the case, would you be sitting in their therapy session?

Here is reality...

No one CHOOSES to be depressed.
No one asks for illness, death, or loss to be a part of their life.
NO ONE wants these energy sucking times to drag you down in to a state of dark, unrelenting sadness.
It happens, and for those who live with it, well we don't need judgement, we need applause for just keep trying.
Even if you have tried to end it, being here in this difficult life, is a courageous feat.

Anyway, I don't think I have much more to say on this right now. I am looking to reclaim my life, my faith, my purpose.
Hoping to find support and be supportive too.

bugzee
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Jan 30, 2018 11:30 am

Re: What is depression.

Postby bugzee » Tue Jan 30, 2018 1:17 pm

Wow! Just wow! You’ve captured my feelings so well. You have such a great way with words and describing your and possibly others depression. Your words brought me comfort in knowing I’m not alone. Thank you.


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