Need some advice
Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:01 pm
Hi (this is my first time on one of these),
After years of hiding my feelings I finally opened up to my mum.
4 months ago I was diagnosed with depression and given tablets that still aren't working. I'm now on Citalopram 30mg.
There's a lot going on in my life right now. 2 weeks ago my doctor told me I might have borderline personality disorder. My Great Uncle died last week but he was more like my Granddad. I've failed my driving test twice and have my next test tomorrow. I'm in my last year of study at sixth form and preparing for Uni. I hate myself. I'm scared and nervous all the time. I cry almost every night. I'm so stressed out right now. It's Christmas soon and I haven't got any money left from my driving. As well as my driving test tomorrow it's my Uncles funeral.
My other worry is my Dad. So long story short, my mum left Dad when I was 2 because he was horrible to her and my brothers. He took Mum to court and she won (thank god). The deal was every month he would drive to Lincoln to visit me and every month Mum would drive to Essex so I could visit, so I could see him every 2 weeks. Instead Mum drove me to Essex every single month no matter what so I could see him. He didn't try once. Even when my mum was pregnant and even when my baby sister was really ill she would take me. She has never said a bad word about him, but I have heard things from other people. I never liked seeing him even when I was little. He scares me still. I'm 18 now and haven't seen him in 3 years. He never used to call me, but now that his second wife left and so has my brothers, he calls me a lot. He has never paid maintenance and has never bought me anything, not even a birthday card. All of this and he still says he loves me? I don't want anything to do with him. He is like a stranger to me and I can't understand him. I thought that I could just not answer the phone when he calls but I'm worried he might kidnap me (he's tried it before when I was younger) or that he'll blame mum or something like that. I don't know what to do because he thinks I love him but I don't and never have and I don't want him to be a part of my life. Just because he is the man that gave the sperm to create me doesn't make him my father. It takes more than blood to call yourself a parent.
I don't know what I'm going to do if I fail my driving test tomorrow, and its going to be hard day for my family. Can anyone give me any solutions or advice?
Thanks for reading my worries,
Undertow
After years of hiding my feelings I finally opened up to my mum.
4 months ago I was diagnosed with depression and given tablets that still aren't working. I'm now on Citalopram 30mg.
There's a lot going on in my life right now. 2 weeks ago my doctor told me I might have borderline personality disorder. My Great Uncle died last week but he was more like my Granddad. I've failed my driving test twice and have my next test tomorrow. I'm in my last year of study at sixth form and preparing for Uni. I hate myself. I'm scared and nervous all the time. I cry almost every night. I'm so stressed out right now. It's Christmas soon and I haven't got any money left from my driving. As well as my driving test tomorrow it's my Uncles funeral.
My other worry is my Dad. So long story short, my mum left Dad when I was 2 because he was horrible to her and my brothers. He took Mum to court and she won (thank god). The deal was every month he would drive to Lincoln to visit me and every month Mum would drive to Essex so I could visit, so I could see him every 2 weeks. Instead Mum drove me to Essex every single month no matter what so I could see him. He didn't try once. Even when my mum was pregnant and even when my baby sister was really ill she would take me. She has never said a bad word about him, but I have heard things from other people. I never liked seeing him even when I was little. He scares me still. I'm 18 now and haven't seen him in 3 years. He never used to call me, but now that his second wife left and so has my brothers, he calls me a lot. He has never paid maintenance and has never bought me anything, not even a birthday card. All of this and he still says he loves me? I don't want anything to do with him. He is like a stranger to me and I can't understand him. I thought that I could just not answer the phone when he calls but I'm worried he might kidnap me (he's tried it before when I was younger) or that he'll blame mum or something like that. I don't know what to do because he thinks I love him but I don't and never have and I don't want him to be a part of my life. Just because he is the man that gave the sperm to create me doesn't make him my father. It takes more than blood to call yourself a parent.
I don't know what I'm going to do if I fail my driving test tomorrow, and its going to be hard day for my family. Can anyone give me any solutions or advice?
Thanks for reading my worries,
Undertow