At this time, I am new.

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At this time, I am new.

Postby PolsVoice » Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:11 am

Hello, I am new here.

I think I've been struggling for a long while now. Moved to a new place about five years ago to be closer to my son. Left my entire family back home. I met some people, started to get things under control. Things were okay.
but years later.. I barely get to see my son, my best friend hates me, I barely talk to anyone, and if I'm not working I'm just laying in bed. I can't handle my thoughts, I can't handle a lot of what comes my way.
I don't want to die, I'm just so tired of being alive. Things can be going so well, but that is usually my indication that things are about to go south.
The closest relationship I've had in YEARS has been my (now ex) best friend. I watched her son (who called me dad) all the time and we spent pretty much all of our time together. Now due to a misunderstanding she is taking any opportunity to destroy me. All the things she loved and praised me on she now dogs and hates. Every day I'm receiving messages, and I don't know what to do. I know I'll deal with it because I've loved this person for so long. I do not want to let her go.
After moving half way across the world my son's mother takes our son and moves even further. I barely see him and it is killing me. She also made the note to let me know that he doesn't refer to me as "Dad" anymore.

Everything else? I'm sure it is a common issue to not know what one is doing in life, but I honestly have no clue. I feel like I've given up but I also know I haven't. I am beyond confused. I don't know what to do. I fee like I'm "done" but I know I'm not. There's so much left for me to do. So much life.
I just don't have to motivation for it.

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Re: At this time, I am new.

Postby Gomez1972 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 8:46 pm


I can understand where you are coming from., really, I can. I can honestly say that I am numb to allot of things, and you maybe too. I have a son and I know how important he is to me as well. He is 18 years old now, but his father kept me from him. That blows that he doesn't call you Dad anymore since she is basically alienating him from you. Can you possibly send him things through the mail as opposed to phone calls or text messages? that way you know if he is actually getting them or not by tracking them. I totally empathize.

I can understand you being lonely as well and not wanting to die. of course the pain is still there and it sounds like you gave this person allot of love, and still do. how do you think you can take your mind off of her, and try little by little to move forward even if it rips your heart out? i hate to say it like that, but affairs of the heart are very difficult. the predicament you are in seems very familiar what i have experienced as well.

ive been divorced over 10 years ,and i still cry sometimes when i think of him on how he used to be as to what he had become. please try and do something for yourself. it sounds corny, but take up a hobby, do artwork, learn a new instrument, get out of your comfort zone and go out on a date, challenge will see that at first it sucks and is hard, but then you may meet a beautiful person that will appreciate you.


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Re: At this time, I am new.

Postby blessedby4 » Sun Nov 05, 2017 2:58 pm

When I think about difficult times in my life, I as well, tend to feel lost, defeated, disheveled and the more I dwell on those hurtful thoughts, more it feels as if I am drowning. I came across a verse in the Bible that makes a lot of sense: Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
When you begin to dwell on what hurts, don’t stay there. You can put your mind on those positive attributes, you may find in a matter of a few moments those hurts tend to dissipate. Someone said... Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.
Make an intentional effort to do just that! If possible try to find someone you can confide in, just talking with someone often takes the edge off of difficult feelings.
I don’t know if you have a faith system, but this verse from the book of Romans is very powerful and can lead us to trust in God: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.
Joy and Peace...even in the midst of unknowing...even when I feel so unstable in all of my ways.
This is so true ‘A single thread of hope is still a very powerful thing.’ Joy and peace can make living daily, hourly and minute by minute from just surviving to thriving!

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