Depression struggles- please help

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lenamay521
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:20 pm

Depression struggles- please help

Postby lenamay521 » Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:11 pm

Hi. I'm new to this forum, so I feel a little nervous doing this because I've never opened up like this on a forum before. I have been struggling with depression for quite some time now. A lot of times, my mind wanders from one thing to the next, I have trouble focusing and concentrating, and I sometimes have racing thoughts. My depression comes and goes, but I feel like I really have no one around me to really talk to. The people around me are pretty much negative and don't understand what I'm going through. My mom passed away five years ago, on October 22, 2012, and I still struggle sometimes with dealing with that. I have dreams about her sometimes, and I also still have days where I cry about it. I have been told by some that I pretty much should basically just get over it, and that I use her death as an excuse to be sad and basically wallow in my sadness. My dad is still alive, but he isn't always around when I need him, and he has his own issues that he's dealing with, so he isn't always available for me to talk to. I hate my living situation. I'm currently staying with my sister just until I can find a place of my own, but her boyfriend also stays here and they have three small kids, and I do not like him because he is not a good person at all. I want to hurry and move from here asap. It's a huge factor that adds to my depression. I barely want to be here half the time. It's just very stressful for me. He's personally told me that I use my mom's death as an excuse to be depressed, and I was so angry that he said that to me because he has absolutely no right to tell me how to grieve. I also heard him talking about me to my sister, saying that there's something wrong with me because when I'm home, I isolate myself often and stay in my room, and I just often have times where I lose motivation and don't feel like doing anything.I feel so alone because with the exception of only one person, which is the guy that I talk to, no one else around me seems to understand me and the emotions that I go through, and I feel deeply misunderstood. I feel like I really don't have anyone to share my feelings with, so I'm just forced to hold everything in. I know that isn't good for me though because it can end up destroying me. The guy that I talk to is the only one that I feel really understands me the most, which is why I talk to him about a lot of things. But I can't even talk to him all the time, and when I can't, I really feel alone. Sorry this post is so long, but I just needed to let everything out. I just really want to conquer my issues and start to feel better.

Ravitox
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2017 12:49 am

Re: Depression struggles- please help

Postby Ravitox » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:36 am

Depression can be a lot worse than just depression itself when surrounded by people who choose to not be supportive, or are simply unable to be. A mother is usually someone extremely close to the heart, and that grief may or may not ever die. Time does not heal all the wounds, and there is no need to push yourself to stop missing her. Whether or not what he said is true doesn't quite matter. The fact that he knows that you are sad and isolated, yet says something so judging and filled with blame instead of trying to help you come to terms with grief only exemplifies how he does not wish to support you. Please do not take anything he says to heart and stress over it.

It is wonderful the guy you are talking to tries to support and understand you. Sometimes, though, everyone can be busy. Saying that you could make new friends sounds very generic, but you can always talk to online communities if not physically go out. Putting some physical distance between you and where you currently live could be a plus. You can always go to a public library or some other place where people gather, and ask people about their lives, interests, or children with just basic conversation. Sometimes, hearing other people's problems takes away the loneliness and isolation. It's as if we're all in the same boat, but nobody knows who else is in the boat. You can always ask your closest person about what you can do as well, since he would know you the best.

lenamay521
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:20 pm

Re: Depression struggles- please help

Postby lenamay521 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:34 am

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it and it really helps! :)

erinrose07
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Depression struggles- please help

Postby erinrose07 » Thu Nov 02, 2017 1:02 pm

Hi, I hope you're feeling even just a bit better today and that the sun is shining where you are.

Have you seen a doctor for these symptoms (do you have insurance)? Even a family/general practitioner can diagnose depression and can give you good tools and referrals to help you. It is true that losing a parent could leave anybody depressed. If it's been plaguing you for 5 years though, it's important to speak to a professional. To be honest, I'd google counselors or therapists in your area and call to make an appointment. If you go to the doctor, they can usually call and set up an appointment on your behalf .

I'm sorry about your living situation. Do you have a car or public transportation? It really does help to get out of the same old environment; especially if it stresses you out. I know with depression it can make you feel lethargic though, like you said. Are you currently working or in between employment? I'm so sorry you're struggling so much. I really do encourage you to seek a therapist though, because they are there to have you vent and then give you helpful feedback, not hurtful.
I wanted to add this link for you to check out too because I struggle with Major Depressive Disorder and I just know much of what you're going through and empathize with you. I hope you find some peace soon <3

http://bit.ly/2u9lTBz


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