Where I Am Now.....

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glassmirror
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 28, 2017 5:37 pm

Where I Am Now.....

Postby glassmirror » Sat Oct 28, 2017 6:22 pm

I've been battling depression for yrs. Anxiety and panic attacks. I am very emotional. My husband and I had recently moved. My Mom passed away in the process of moving. I didn't get to grieve. It all hit me unloading the boxes and putting stuff away. I secretly grieved. I can't stand it when people say I'm sorry. I'd rather not say anything and they don't have to respond.
Trying to fit into the new city we moved to, I can't. I haven't made any friends. Not that I've ever been any good at it. I don't like exploring by myself. Always had a fear of not being able to find my way around.
I do NOT like to wake up in the morning. I don't want to look out the window and see an unfamiliar place. I WANT TO GO HOME!!
The anxiety has hit at an all time high! It literally feels like an Elephant is sitting on my chest. I honestly feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. I desperately need to talk to someone. Talking to my husband is not an option at this time. Simply because he does not understand.
I have done the deep breathing exercises. Gone for walks. Etc., etc. Sometimes it helps. This is me. This is how I feel.

KimmyO
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 9:10 pm

Re: Where I Am Now.....

Postby KimmyO » Thu Nov 02, 2017 9:57 am

Why don't you want people to express their condolences? Is it that you feel you aren't worth it? Is it that you feel like a bother? You are worth thinking of and feeling sad for! It is a very hard thing losing your mother, I have gone thru it too! I am very sorry you are going thru these hard times! Anxiety and depression can be caused by many things, imbalances, past hurts as a child, being made to feel like a bother or made to be fearful. These can become habits and like anything that has a grip on us it is hard to stop. Change the way your talk to your self, stop yourself when you catch a negative thought about you or say something. Correct your thought or words with positive affirmations and hope. Also, there are many things on this God given earth that help us in hard times. Magnesium is calming, if you don't want to take pills, eat almonds, they are rich in it. Also, ginseng is very good to stop those negative sticky thoughts that we can't seem to get rid of. You can take it in pill form or tea. These always help me! I also am one to pray and seek help in my bible. Find someone or something that you can read or talk to that is more inspiring and hopeful. Go outside and lay on grass or walk barefoot, it will ground you and make you feel more in touch w nature. I love to look up at stars at night, it makes me see the bigger picture, and know the grandness of life and future! Also, when I am down, I like to help others who are worse off or have gone thru something I have so I get outside of my self and circumstances and it relieves my fears and sadness. I hope this helps you too! Grief is needed and takes time, show yourself a lot of grace and don't beat yourself up. =)

JkBrauer
Posts: 10
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:27 pm

Re: Where I Am Now.....

Postby JkBrauer » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:36 pm

Sometimes music helps me to refocus, find peace and relax. My favorite song is "Amazing Grace it has a special meaning in my life. I hope you will sit back with a cup of tea, listen and relax to this version of Amazing Grace!


Cinema Modeoff
Amazing Grace Best Version By Far!1

Descripción

JkBrauer
Posts: 10
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2017 1:27 pm

Re: Where I Am Now.....

Postby JkBrauer » Sat Nov 04, 2017 11:46 pm

https://youtu.be/wQw17MYJy3c

Okay, my above response did not work, so I am re posting this.
I am sorry it did not work the first time....I was saying that sometimes, music helps me to refocus, find peace and relax. "Amazing Grace" is my favorite song, it has a lot of meaning in my life. I hope you will grab a cup of tea, sit back, listen and relax to this version of Amazing Grace.

glassmirror
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Oct 28, 2017 5:37 pm

Re: Where I Am Now.....

Postby glassmirror » Tue Mar 13, 2018 8:14 pm

I don't want to hear condolences because then I have to say thank you or it's ok. I'd rather not say anything and just move on. I have an X-Family that never treated me like I was one of them. I got a text message saying I need to come for the family gathering. There hadn't been a family in years! Why couldn't they just say a reading of the will. I told my Mom that I didn't want anything from her before she passed away. A hug and a kiss will do, but yet she gave me things as she knew once she passed my X-Family would give me nothing. It's hurtful and that wound will never heal... So, listening to music, etc. etc. will not make me happy. The only person that did was my Mom.


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