Introductions and welcomes.

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Joined: Sun Oct 22, 2017 4:47 pm


Postby JasonS » Sun Oct 22, 2017 5:10 pm

Hello fellow depression sufferers. I Am brand new here and I don't really know what to expect from the forums. I've been depressed since the fifth grade and I'm 48 years old no 49 years old. I've tried to kill myself several times with overdoses and the last time was 2 1/2 weeks ago. I cut my throat trying to hit my jugular vein. I was bleeding A LOT so I quit cutting on my neck and figured if I went to sleep, I would simply die but I woke up mad cuz I was alive, went to the hospital and got staples. I then went to a psychiatric hospital and they did a good job. I don't plan on ever trying suicide again because it never works and I find myself in the same f'n shoes. I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, I'm an addict to ----- and prescription meds. I use to be hooked on oxycodone during my failed marriage. I was at home physically but being sky high I wasn't there for my family. And it HURTS SO BAD TO LOOK BACK AND SEE ALL THE CHANCES I TURNED DOWN FOR REHAB! If I had gone to rehab, I'd still have my family, my home, my vehicles, etc. I feel so isolated in my depression like I'm stuck here and will never get out. After all, I am 49 years old and still living with other people - some of which were hell to live under the same roof with. Right now, I am living in a better place where no hard times are dealt but there is drug use here and I know exactly what drug use can do...it in and of itself is why I am homeless. I want my own place so bad but never have the funds to get it and my credit is very poor making it even more difficult to get an apartment. I have been in a homeless situation where I had to sleep in the woods. At least theres a roof over my head. In a way i am still in the woods and need to find my way out.

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Joined: Mon Jul 31, 2017 7:00 pm

Re: Hi

Postby blessedby4 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:46 pm

Someone once wrote Hope is seeing light in spite of being surrounded by darkness.
Because i have a thought or a feeling does not mean I must act upon it. Having had many unhealthy thoughts throughout the day, I do not put any of those thoughts into action. When I dwell on those unhealthy thoughts I find myself becoming overwhelmed by them. I came across this Bible verse and it made much sense. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. I don’t know if you have a faith system, but putting my hope in Jesus has given me a reason to live. Instead of having a hopeless end, I have an endless hope.
When I do that, those negative ones vanish. Interestingly when I do not do that, I end up focusing on my negative thoughts, and they only tend to become magnified- then it seems that those unhealthy thoughts tend to take over my life and my thinking. I don’t know if you have a faith system, but I read a powerful Bible verse recently that said, bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…” When I take those unhealthy thoughts and give them to Christ, then focus on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Then I can get through another day, another hour, or sometimes another minute.

Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:28 am

Re: Hi

Postby kissntears06 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 11:07 pm

you know why you still ali e despite of you always trying to kill your self is because god purpose in your life, just open your eyes , open your heart, breath and think positive my friend, whatever trials or hardship in life you have dont hurt your self again instead be positive put your trust to god, i suffer so much pain being rejected being bully wnd being poorest but i stay positive, i know all your hardship inlife now it will heal soon just help your self doing this, stay away the bad things that makes you sinking in darkness instead be positive put god in you life, only god can help you , find a people who you can talk to and never judge you, dont hurt your self again, every morning you wake up is a brand new day and a brand new you to live a happy life sooner.

Posts: 46
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: Hi

Postby littlestarsmum » Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:07 am

I’m so sorry to hear about you’re your struggles, Jason. I appreciate your willingness to share what you’ve been through. I know how difficult and painful it must be for you. Depression is a very complex issue that deserves personal and in-depth attention. I’d suggest that you talk to a counselor/therapist. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His perfect love, comfort and provide for all your needs. Stay strong. Sending hugs your way!

Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:48 am

Re: Hi

Postby nightingale77 » Sun Oct 29, 2017 4:28 am

Hi Jason, sorry that you are going through so much at this moment. And from your post, you have gone through many tribulations in life as well. Sorry to hear that life seems all dark and gloomy for you for a while. Will you be open to consider seeking counselling in church? I know some churches offer free counselling. I understand life is hard for you now but you have to look after yourself, emotionally and mentally as well. I hope you know that there is hope to get better and there is hope in improving your life. Praying for you. Be well and take care. God bless.

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