Greetings from a new member

Introductions and welcomes.

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Greetings from a new member

Postby Ellie » Tue Oct 17, 2017 5:12 pm

Hello, everyone!

I'm Ellie, 21 years old from the Philippines. I'm a 3rd year college student pursuing a Bachelor's Degree in Information Technology. I've always dreamt of becoming a doctor but things didn't turn out in favor of my dreams. But I've learned to love my course and I wanna be a game dev in the future.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar I and Borderline Personality Disorder three years ago but have been struggling with it ever since I was 8 years old. I was under medication and psychotherapy until one and a half year ago but I stopped since it costs too much and I don't wanna bother my parents anymore with additional expenses besides my education. Plus, I don't like the effects of the meds. It made me like a dead person. It's a big no for me so I pretended that I could handle the symptoms without the meds and the psychotherapy.

I don't remember much from my childhood or maybe there wasn't worth remembering. I don't get along well with my family. My mother forced me to study all day and night so I wasn't allowed to play and didn't made lots of friends back then. She pressured me too much on getting not high scores but perfect scores on examinations. She wanted me to be the very best like no one ever was (POKEMON! GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL! lol) But I can't be the very best since there's this really smart kid who has been my classmate from kindergarten up to high school. I was always second to her which I don't mind but was a big deal for my mother.

That was just memories from the past which doesn't really matter to me anymore. I don't even think that that was the reason I'm depressed. I don't even know why I'm depressed which makes it kinda hard for me coz I have no idea what to do and I don't know where to start. Though, this world really makes me sad. You know, people starve. Innocent people are killed at wars. But that's how the world works, right? I sometimes think that if I was rich, or powerful, maybe things like those don't have to happen. Maybe I can save other people. And by saving them, maybe I could save myself. That's why I dreamt of being a doctor lol. But I can't even fulfill my dream, much more for saving others.

Soooo... I hope I could be friends with the forumers here. I like talking to people though excuse me for my grammar. English is not my native language so I'm sometimes having a hard time expressing myself.

Thank you! I look forward to being friends with you, guys. ^w^
'Ónen i-estel edain, ú-chebin estel anim'

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Re: Greetings from a new member

Postby GraceH » Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:21 pm

Hello, welcome. I stop by once a day on here. I hope others reply and send you a warm welcome :)
Love Above All Else

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Re: Greetings from a new member

Postby Panda » Wed Oct 18, 2017 10:19 am

Hello, Ellie!

Welcome here! Sometimes there's not only one, clear reason that causes depression, but several smaller things makes your brain playing tricks on you, and that makes hard to find out why someone is depressed. I hope you will find a way to get better.
Also, game devs are awesome, I wish the best for you in the future (and I lowkey wanna steal your icon picture now lol).
English is not my native language, sorry for my grammar mistakes.

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Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:37 am

Re: Greetings from a new member

Postby j2415 » Wed Oct 18, 2017 3:39 pm

Hi Ellie- welcome to the group! I can relate to some of your stories. When I was in college, I wanted to take up Psychology but wasn’t able to, I graduated in engineering instead. My mother used to be like your mother, she wanted me to get perfect scores in school and always wanted me to receive awards. Now that I am a mother, I understood that what she did was for my own good.
Negative things that are now going on makes me sad too, but we cannot control it. By helping one person, we can make a difference in this world.

I hope you will feel better soon. If you think your depression is bothering you, you can search for other doctor. I hope you can find a support group that you can meet face to face, it will help you to realize that you are not alone, you will be able to share your experience and can receive encouragement. Thank you for sharing and you can message us anytime. I will be praying for you.

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