Please help...?!

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deadsoull
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 6:42 pm
Location: uk

Please help...?!

Postby deadsoull » Tue Oct 03, 2017 5:49 pm

Hi It's Soull
(If you would like a clearer idea of me please go to my profile and read my recent and first post before this but it is not necessary.) I'm sorry if anyone who reads this becomes as people say 'triggered' i just hope to share my experiences and give adivce.
In brief ;i've had trouble with falling out with friends where they have judged me for cutting and ignored me and have pushed me to the point of wanting to kill myself. I DO NOT BLAME THEM FOR THAT. IT IS MY OWN MIND AND MY OWN FAULT.
Anyways...
i'm having trouble again with friends My friend A is going through some stuff at home and her mum has just had and operation and her dad is always away. i want to help her but i'm not sure how. Also i feel like i'm always worrying about people and i don't know why. i blame myself for their problems and i feel like i've caused them. Also everytime i ask A if she's i feel like she only talks about herself and she doesn't really care about me. i really want to stay friends with her but i'm under a lot of stress and i can't cope. Recently i've started cutting a lot more because of friendships and i don't know how to get out and stop. i was planning to kill myself and i couldn't tell anyone because i don't want to 'trigger' my friends and make myself look pathetic because i'm meant to be the strong one for them. I need help on how to handle my friendship issues and their issues so please could you comment Thank you to anyone who reads this and i hope no one goes through anything alone and you can ask me anything and i will always try to help you. please don't ever feel like your a burden to anyone because you're not
Love Soull xoxo

agse
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Oct 04, 2017 11:36 am

Re: Please help...?!

Postby agse » Wed Oct 04, 2017 11:39 am

Hi Soull,
Thank you for coming here to share what is going on in your life and asking for support! I know that can be a hard thing to do! I'm sorry that you have had issues with your friends that ended in broken friendships. That's tough. Even though it sounds like you have been hurt by multiple friends, I am glad that you still want to reach out and be friends to another and support them. Sometimes that's hard to do when we have been hurt, so I commend you for that!
However, I'm wondering why you feel like it is your fault when other's are going through problems? Why do you feel like you're the cause? Did you actually do something to cause their pain or hurt? If so, that's one thing and needs to be addressed with them, but if you did nothing and are carrying their burdens just because, that's not fair to you! That's a very heavy load in life to be carrying by yourself. So I understand why you would be depressed if you are taking on everyone else's burdens along with your own. Yes, we need to support our friends..but there also has to be some kind of boundary. We have to realize we can only do so much. Instead of fixing the problem for people, the best thing to do is just be a listening ear, or give a hug, let them know you are there. I think that's all you might be able to do with this particular friend.
Something to consider, why do you feel the need to take on other's burdens? Why do you feel like you are the cause? Do those particualar feelings meet a need within you? If you take on other's burdens, do you feel you are valued more? If that's the case, I want you to know that you are valuable just for being you! In your post, I can see that you have a big heart and are kind and caring. Continue offering that to the world. You ask others not to think of themselves as a burden, but it also seems that you think you are one because you do not want to trigger someone or make them feel bad. You need to know you are not a burden as well! I hope you know that and can take your own advice! Thanks again for reaching out! I hope some of this has helped!

deadsoull
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 6:42 pm
Location: uk

Re: Please help...?!

Postby deadsoull » Wed Oct 04, 2017 6:41 pm

agse wrote: hi

Hi Agse
Thank you for your response. I hope you are okay and have had a good day. I only feel like because i told people i had depression and i cut they felt bad about themselves and started to become depressed as well. i feel like i have to help them because it's my fault and they're problems are worse than mine. I'm not going to forgive myself for the things ive put people through. it's my fault and that's my burden to bare not there's and i wish i hadn't made them feel like they needed to carry it. I love them so i need to make up for the things i've done.
Thank you though and your insight has helped me somewhat
Love Soull xoxo

j2415
Posts: 28
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:37 am

Re: Please help...?!

Postby j2415 » Wed Oct 04, 2017 10:49 pm

Hi Soull, thank you for sharing your life.
I can see from your post that you are a loving person and a good friend. A friend like you is hard to find. You can help your friend A by just being there for her, listening to her problems when she needs someone to talk to. I have also a friend that going through some difficulties right now, I try to help her by giving my time to be with her and I also respect her silence when she doesn’t want to talk about her problems. By just being there is comforting enough for her.
I hope you will not hurt yourself. Please talk to someone that you can trust. I hope you will overcome your depression, I will be praying for you.

deadsoull
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 05, 2017 6:42 pm
Location: uk

Re: Please help...?!

Postby deadsoull » Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:42 pm

j2415 wrote:


Thank you for your reply and advice and for praying for me. You seem very kind and helpful and i hope your friend and you will both be okay soon. Praying for you both too,
Love Soull xoxo


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