Not sure what to do ...

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Erin2787
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:20 pm

Not sure what to do ...

Postby Erin2787 » Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:38 pm

Hi. My name is Erin and I've dealt with depression and anxiety off and on for the past 10 years. Most of my adult life. Some days have been absolutely burdeonsom while others have made life with living. Lately it's been really tough. I'm to the point where I can't even concentrate in order to decide in which direction I need to move. I feel like I'm in a constant fog. The smallest tasks feel daunting and it's almost impossible to get out of bed sometimes. If it wasn't for my son, I don't know what I would do. My boyfriend has dealt with depression as well and I would think that it would make him more sensitive and understanding but it doesn't. He seems to distance himself when I get like this. Just when I need someone close. Someone to tell me that everything will be okay. When I get like this, I refer to it as "falling down the rabbit hole". I'm farther down this hole than I've ever been. I've never reached out for support online and I'm not even sure why I'm thinking that this might work. I guess I am just desperate. Being one of the millions of Americans with out health insurance, there's really not very many options out there for me. Ive never felt so lonely and hopeless.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting ... or what type or responses could come of this ... I'm not sure of anything really.
Thanks for reading ...

_emmakkelly
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 3:17 pm

Re: Not sure what to do ...

Postby _emmakkelly » Sun Jul 16, 2017 3:52 pm

I'm sorry you have been going through this, that is truly unfortunate that your boyfriend isn't there for you when you need him but I'm glad you have your son who makes you feel a little better. If you haven't already, maybe consider talking to your boyfriend about how you feel that he's pulling away when you need him most and see what his take on the situation to maybe gain some clarity, only if you feel up to it though. I have personally struggled with depression for a very long time and I completely understand how hard everything can be. If you don't have health insurance, you could maybe consider scheduling just one therapist appointment where you pay out of pocket to see what they think you should do and ways that may help you when you don't have insurance. A completely free way to reach a therapist when you need one that I use a lot that my psychiatrist suggested for me is the Crisis Line where you can text. The number is 741-741 and just text HELLO and they'll connect you to a therapist. I hope this helped some and I wish you the very best.

Amalasan
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:29 am

Re: Not sure what to do ...

Postby Amalasan » Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:57 am

My wife and myself had depression real bad with social anxiety stacked on that. Fighting against the feelings of depression is nearly irresistible, it is if you don't realize how bad it is like it was with us. I am still 'deep down in the water in the well with no rope and I am getting too tired to swim' as I called it. From my own perspective as a husband with depression with a wife with depression is this - small problems seem like mountains, big problems seem like planets. Being reminded of the situation is sending him deeper in his own depression, making him withdraw, like it did me. I don't think it is being cold or anything like that, just being down the well so to speak makes it so.
And here is something you should consider, depression kills. I can't count how many times some jerk said 'well why didn't you two just get out, find friends, or get therapy?'. I have explained so many times to the people around me that depression isn't a mood like sad or angry that you can just get over, it is a full blown disorder. And part of that is seeking help or pulling yourself out is those mountain or planet size problems. But they are not. Really not. You have to shift some mountain sized perspectives in your head before you can see that.
Don't let it get as bad as my wife, it would have been her birthday last Saturday. She thought too that I didn't care, but I would move the universe to have her back.

Jstar845
Posts: 10
Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:45 pm

Re: Not sure what to do ...

Postby Jstar845 » Thu Jul 20, 2017 12:35 pm

Hello, I greatly appreciate your strength for reaching out. I know that you don’t deserve to feel this way. Depression and anxiety leaves these feelings, and this is not you or your fault. I believe it’s good that you have identified this and I’m glad you are taking the necessary steps to get help. Also, I read that at times you can’t concentrate try getting in a quiet place by yourself so you can think and clear your head. Then, try remaining calm and practice breathing exercises such as, taking deep breathes count to 10 and repeat. Additionally, you can try music, mediation, yoga, going for walks, going out, and warm showers. It is sometimes difficult to understand why the ones closest to us don’t understand. Please continue to seek support from your son and try at least one or two of the above to begin with and you may find that it works for you. There is hope even when we feel down and may not see it. Hope is given to you every day and you can depend on this. I would like to recommend; The Samaritans it’s a 24-hour confidential hotline at (212) 673-3000. They are there when you need someone to talk with, if you feel lonely or hopeless or through anything. The Samaritans are there through any crisis or situation. We at this online community are here for you anytime. Hugs!

Erin2787
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:20 pm

Re: Not sure what to do ...

Postby Erin2787 » Thu Jul 20, 2017 10:51 pm

_emmakkelly wrote:I'm sorry you have been going through this, that is truly unfortunate that your boyfriend isn't there for you when you need him but I'm glad you have your son who makes you feel a little better. If you haven't already, maybe consider talking to your boyfriend about how you feel that he's pulling away when you need him most and see what his take on the situation to maybe gain some clarity, only if you feel up to it though. I have personally struggled with depression for a very long time and I completely understand how hard everything can be. If you don't have health insurance, you could maybe consider scheduling just one therapist appointment where you pay out of pocket to see what they think you should do and ways that may help you when you don't have insurance. A completely free way to reach a therapist when you need one that I use a lot that my psychiatrist suggested for me is the Crisis Line where you can text. The number is 741-741 and just text HELLO and they'll connect you to a therapist. I hope this helped some and I wish you the very best.


Hello and thank you for your reply. I honestly didn't think anyone would. I will save the number to the crisis line in my phone. Thank you again

Erin2787
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:20 pm

Re: Not sure what to do ...

Postby Erin2787 » Thu Jul 20, 2017 10:59 pm

Amalasan wrote:My wife and myself had depression real bad with social anxiety stacked on that. Fighting against the feelings of depression is nearly irresistible, it is if you don't realize how bad it is like it was with us. I am still 'deep down in the water in the well with no rope and I am getting too tired to swim' as I called it. From my own perspective as a husband with depression with a wife with depression is this - small problems seem like mountains, big problems seem like planets. Being reminded of the situation is sending him deeper in his own depression, making him withdraw, like it did me. I don't think it is being cold or anything like that, just being down the well so to speak makes it so.
And here is something you should consider, depression kills. I can't count how many times some jerk said 'well why didn't you two just get out, find friends, or get therapy?'. I have explained so many times to the people around me that depression isn't a mood like sad or angry that you can just get over, it is a full blown disorder. And part of that is seeking help or pulling yourself out is those mountain or planet size problems. But they are not. Really not. You have to shift some mountain sized perspectives in your head before you can see that.
Don't let it get as bad as my wife, it would have been her birthday last Saturday. She thought too that I didn't care, but I would move the universe to have her back.


Thank you for your reply. I'm very sorry to hear about your wife. I cannot imagine such a loss.
I know that I make small issues out to be "mountains" in my head and that I need to put things into perspective. Things really aren't that bad when I think about them logically. Most of the time, my mind just floods with all the little things all at once and it makes me feel like I'm drowning... like I have the weight of an elephant on my chest and I can't breathe. I just have to remember to take life one thing at a time

Erin2787
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2017 11:20 pm

Re: Not sure what to do ...

Postby Erin2787 » Thu Jul 20, 2017 11:03 pm

Jstar845 wrote:Hello, I greatly appreciate your strength for reaching out. I know that you don’t deserve to feel this way. Depression and anxiety leaves these feelings, and this is not you or your fault. I believe it’s good that you have identified this and I’m glad you are taking the necessary steps to get help. Also, I read that at times you can’t concentrate try getting in a quiet place by yourself so you can think and clear your head. Then, try remaining calm and practice breathing exercises such as, taking deep breathes count to 10 and repeat. Additionally, you can try music, mediation, yoga, going for walks, going out, and warm showers. It is sometimes difficult to understand why the ones closest to us don’t understand. Please continue to seek support from your son and try at least one or two of the above to begin with and you may find that it works for you. There is hope even when we feel down and may not see it. Hope is given to you every day and you can depend on this. I would like to recommend; The Samaritans it’s a 24-hour confidential hotline at (212) 673-3000. They are there when you need someone to talk with, if you feel lonely or hopeless or through anything. The Samaritans are there through any crisis or situation. We at this online community are here for you anytime. Hugs!


Thank you for the support I appreciate the suggested coping mechanisms. I was taught some of these as a child, when I first started showing signs of depression. I think that was when I was about 8 years old. I will refer to these now as they have helped me in the past. I'll also save the phone number that you listed in case I need someone to talk to.
Again, thank you so much


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