Hello from the USA lonely depressed and spiritually empty

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sunnytortoise
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jun 26, 2017 3:19 pm

Hello from the USA lonely depressed and spiritually empty

Postby sunnytortoise » Mon Jun 26, 2017 4:00 pm

I have suffered with depression and anxiety since 2003. I am currently on meds and attending a support group for those with mental illness and experiment with mindfulness, but even so, I still get bouts of crying. I am typing this using a speech to text program so please excuse any run-on sentences or errors. Right now I am feeling very lonely. I have just m moved in with my twin sister who I am close but who I am living with for the first time since childhood. I don't really know how to interact with her other than making surfacy jokes.

I have a loving tortoise and many friends yet I still feel lonely. many of the people whobecome my friend are also caregivers that I have hired. I do not mind befriending my c caregivers, in fact I prefer it this way. Recently one of my friends and caregivers whom I was very close to who helped me realize and work through much of my horrible experiences from childhood of being a disabled person and you was helping me work through my anxiety and depression has left and I miss him really badly. As those email below to him indicates I am seeking out other resources but right now I just feel alone. Please help. Below is an excerpt of the text of the email.

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I think loneliness gets me every summer; because my job with kids is over for the year, because the peeps have changed, and because I'm not working at my regular job I don't get out of the house as much. This summer loneliness seems more acute cuz you not physically here. I understand that the process you inspired goes well beyond you, but it was also when you came over cool fun and I felt like I was doing. something important. Because I get close really close to a few people, it gets harder when they are not physically , now around. between your moving, Rebecca move things and anniversary of Ben's death and having not yet figured out how to relate to Elizabeth, in part because i'm missing u being physically here so like grief/figuring out how to get my spiritual needs met is taking a longer time and have more urgency because there is a whole that comes in part from missing you at the person but also cup from missing your spiritual comfort in any and your friendship. I know that you cannot fix this and I and and jealous of what I. perceive to be were ability two move from place to place and have friends all over everywhere. I am aware that you also difficult emotional time but you just seemed so much better than I do. Either that's my perception or you just have more practice.

In any case I hope things get better when IC my new counselor on July 5. I am investigating a meditation group at my church and another one over at the Quakers. But until then, it just seems like a lot of lo lonely ness and waiting for the next David ben or Rebecca to appear.

I am aware that I. have much to be thankful for: I have a job, I can now joke. around with my sister lives with who lives with me now. I am covered by good peeps I have loving tortoise and intellectually I know that there are many many people that love me in all different ways which I'm thankful for. I had hoped by bell that I would have stopped karate weeping at least to occasionally have enough energy work on the telephone project.

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