My name is David. I have suffered from depression for a very long time and lately it has been making things very difficult for me.
I lost my mom when I was 16 and that is when everything started for me. It was very hard for me and I have never handled death well to begin with. I am usually the most upset person when ever there is a loss in the family. SO needless to say I am very close with everyone in my family. Lately though it has been very hard for me to reach out and talk to people.
I am married with 1 daughter from my current wife and 2 daughters from my ex wife. I don't get to see my oldest children because my ex has put into their mind that I am a bad person and they choose not to see me. I have come to the realization that I will have to wait until they are adults to reach out and talk to them about things in life. Hopefully they will see things from my point of view and want to start working on our relationship again. But that is something that I can not control right now so I try not to let it bother me.
As for right now. I find myself rather depressed on a regular basis. I work a regular job so I am home in the evening with my daughter and we go through the same routine nightly. I pick her up, go home and make dinner, put her in the bath, and then sit and watch a movie or read a book until she goes to sleep. Same routine pretty much every night during the week. On the weekends I am home with her all day. I work on things in the house and take care of her. My wife works a later shift than I do and gets a lot of time to her self to do the things that she wants to do. I however do not get that freedom. It actually starts taking a toll on me during the week. There are times I find myself just sitting there with no ambition or motivation to do anything. These are usually the nights that my daughter doesn't get a bath because I can't physically make my self do it.
So for the most part I live a very boring and non-active life.
I do like to read but I don't get very much time to do so lately. I have been trying to play D&D again but that seems to never be able to work out. I put on a happy face for everyone but it is hard to maintain. My wife sees me and there are times when I just can't get my happy face to turn on. So I blame it on being tired. I don't sleep very well because it makes it easier for me to be alone for a little while. I usually wake up around 2 am every morning and sit in the living room until about 4 am. A couple hours to myself and then I climb back into bed with my wife for a couple more hours until I have to get up and go back to work and start all over again.
As for an intimate life with my wife it is non existent. I am talking about months since we have actually had an intimate encounter. I'm not talking about the kiss goodbye or the kiss goodnight. I am talking about a true emotional intimate encounter. It always seems that she is never really wanting to do anything. We don't even go out anymore by ourselves.
So that brings me up to speed on my basic daily life.
Introductions and welcomes.
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