Trying Something New

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DTrim911
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:47 am

Trying Something New

Postby DTrim911 » Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:06 pm

Hello all,

My name is David. I have suffered from depression for a very long time and lately it has been making things very difficult for me.
I lost my mom when I was 16 and that is when everything started for me. It was very hard for me and I have never handled death well to begin with. I am usually the most upset person when ever there is a loss in the family. SO needless to say I am very close with everyone in my family. Lately though it has been very hard for me to reach out and talk to people.

I am married with 1 daughter from my current wife and 2 daughters from my ex wife. I don't get to see my oldest children because my ex has put into their mind that I am a bad person and they choose not to see me. I have come to the realization that I will have to wait until they are adults to reach out and talk to them about things in life. Hopefully they will see things from my point of view and want to start working on our relationship again. But that is something that I can not control right now so I try not to let it bother me.

As for right now. I find myself rather depressed on a regular basis. I work a regular job so I am home in the evening with my daughter and we go through the same routine nightly. I pick her up, go home and make dinner, put her in the bath, and then sit and watch a movie or read a book until she goes to sleep. Same routine pretty much every night during the week. On the weekends I am home with her all day. I work on things in the house and take care of her. My wife works a later shift than I do and gets a lot of time to her self to do the things that she wants to do. I however do not get that freedom. It actually starts taking a toll on me during the week. There are times I find myself just sitting there with no ambition or motivation to do anything. These are usually the nights that my daughter doesn't get a bath because I can't physically make my self do it.

So for the most part I live a very boring and non-active life.
I do like to read but I don't get very much time to do so lately. I have been trying to play D&D again but that seems to never be able to work out. I put on a happy face for everyone but it is hard to maintain. My wife sees me and there are times when I just can't get my happy face to turn on. So I blame it on being tired. I don't sleep very well because it makes it easier for me to be alone for a little while. I usually wake up around 2 am every morning and sit in the living room until about 4 am. A couple hours to myself and then I climb back into bed with my wife for a couple more hours until I have to get up and go back to work and start all over again.

As for an intimate life with my wife it is non existent. I am talking about months since we have actually had an intimate encounter. I'm not talking about the kiss goodbye or the kiss goodnight. I am talking about a true emotional intimate encounter. It always seems that she is never really wanting to do anything. We don't even go out anymore by ourselves.

So that brings me up to speed on my basic daily life.

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: Trying Something New

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Tue Mar 28, 2017 3:32 pm

Sorry to hear what your going through. Sounds like your going through alot.

The main thing I saw is that you got support despite how things are going. As for you and your wife are you able to talk to her? Tell her what you want and what she can try and do to help.

I know your main focus is your children and you got to make sure there ok before everything else sometimes you need time to look after yourself and remember you can only do your best.

Sleeping is a big problem. I can't sleep well at night alot is to do with anxiety. I don't know what relaxes you but I find having a hot bath helps me to or a hot drink.

Work is always stressful but it seems your coping ok eventhough things are hard.

I don't know if talking to a stranger is good for you right now but most people find it helps or support groups of those understand really makes a difference to people's well-being and confidence. I think it's getting out and socialising more to feel better in yourself.

Maybe you and your wife can arrange something to go around that. When she's off work and your working maybe once you have finished for the day go home, have something to eat and get showered to go to a support group in evenings. If you don't think that will help think what interests and motivates you. Motivation is big thing but making the first step is always the hardest but you can do it if you really want to.

As for you and your wife's relationship. Again, love can get lost over time and as you work you spend less less time together but I think the little moments you get together are the precious ones so if you both home in the home one evening ask her if she wants to watch a film and cuddle with one another. Little things. Maybe the odd kiss or touching once things start getting moving. I think some people find date nights a good idea. You can try and organise one once a month. If you think the intimacy is a big problem then there's always relationship counselling if you think that will help.

I hope this is something you can benefit from and hope things get better for you soon.

Hugs

Helloraspberries1


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