Again and again

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OneOfThem
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:23 am

Again and again

Postby OneOfThem » Sun Feb 05, 2017 6:27 pm

Hey,

another new member. Diagnosed with depression about 22 years ago (32 now) and still struggling. Seems like a never ending circle. You feel better for some time but dropping to very low lows more often than not. Problem is, that while I can accomplish things in life while forcing myself to get up every day, it doesn't mean much to me. No one in my professional life knows anything about how I'm feeling, my private life is pretty much empty. Family sucked since early childhood, never had real friendships and relationships are also hard to keep up. Had 2 long term girlfriends leave me because of my depression.. destroys a lot of the bit of confidence I try to hold onto.
Tried different anti depressants, talking to therapists... all that. Now I thought I join here, not having any expectations really.

As you most certainly noticed, english isn't my first language. Please tell me if anything (from here on out) needs clarification or isn't understandable at all.

Thanks.
OOT

whyme87
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2017 8:22 am

Re: Again and again

Postby whyme87 » Mon Feb 06, 2017 8:38 am

I'm new here too, I just signed up.

BTW, your English is fine!

I struggle with many of the same issues. I became addicted to drugs at a young age (16) and managed to get sober and stay sober since I was 19. Sadly, regardless of beating drug addiction, everything in my life since 2006-07 has felt dull and I myself feel unimportant.

I'm about the same age as you are, I'm 29. I've been stressed-out about turning 30 because I haven't done anything interesting with my life, ever. People often say, "Your twenties are the best years of your life.", but mine have been spent mostly alone in total solitude. I have no close friends, I have a very small family, I have no social life, and it's been about 4 or 5 years since I had anything resembling a sex life. I am positively miserable, and I have been on & off (but most on) for more than 10 years.

Believe me, I understand how you feel. So at least you're not alone! :wink:

Depression is a terrible, terrible thing and I wish I had some great advice for you, but sadly I do not. All I can say is that we are obviously not alone; after all, we're on a website dedicated to helping our condition(s). So at least we have each other to talk to. I hope you feel better.

~Best Regards from the Cape Cod in the USA~

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: Again and again

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:21 pm

Hi and welcome to the forums.

Nice to see your opening up here. Your doing fine so don't worry :)

I understand how you feel alot. I was always by myself at a young age too and not having many friends. Now ive grown up things have changed.

Do you get out much? Are you able to talk to new people? I'm saying this cuz it helped me but I don't know if it will help you or not. The more you go out the confident you become.

I'm not sure if you work or go college but that can help forming friendships. Finding a hobby or interest is good for this.

I would say get support early on. Talk to someone when you can and tell them everything. Try counselling. That can help alot.

You made the first step talking to us and I hope things improve soon.

Take Care now

Lisa58
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:05 pm

Re: Again and again

Postby Lisa58 » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:26 pm

OneOfThem wrote:Hey,

another new member. Diagnosed with depression about 22 years ago (32 now) and still struggling. Seems like a never ending circle. You feel better for some time but dropping to very low lows more often than not. Problem is, that while I can accomplish things in life while forcing myself to get up every day, it doesn't mean much to me. No one in my professional life knows anything about how I'm feeling, my private life is pretty much empty. Family sucked since early childhood, never had real friendships and relationships are also hard to keep up. Had 2 long term girlfriends leave me because of my depression.. destroys a lot of the bit of confidence I try to hold onto.
Tried different anti depressants, talking to therapists... all that. Now I thought I join here, not having any expectations really.

As you most certainly noticed, english isn't my first language. Please tell me if anything (from here on out) needs clarification or isn't understandable at all.

Thanks.
OOT


Hi, I can relate as I had 2 girlfriends leave me also - like you, I'd had these 2 girlfriends for many years - 10 maybe more. They left me for very little reason or no reason - mostly because I did not have a job. I've also suffered from depression probably most of my life, many decades now. My mom and dad both deceased now and my siblings seem to have abandoned me and don't care and I never hear from them. I just about don't even want to live anymore but I have to live.

froggymom
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2017 2:47 pm

Re: Again and again

Postby froggymom » Tue Feb 07, 2017 2:56 pm

My heart goes out to you. Depression runs in my family and is a very difficult battle. One way my brother copes is to stay connected to as many people as possible. Easier said than done, I know, but it's worth the effort to reach out. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

OneOfThem
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:23 am

Re: Again and again

Postby OneOfThem » Thu Feb 16, 2017 10:36 am

Thanks for the kind words. Been away for a while now, because I was trying to get life back on track a little more, but well... still not feeling any different about life.

I wanted to reply to some of the things you said..
I don't go out much. I'm working graveyard shift, so I don't even see lots of people on my way to or home from work.
Don't really know how to explain it, but I get bored of people easily. Only a small percentage can keep me interested for a longer period of time. Most lives seem as empty as mine but people don't seem to realise it.

My hobbies or interests are mostly solitary, too. Finding something new isn't as easy as it sounds. Popular things like sports for example were never interesting to me. Things that aren't popular are again more solitary. That's something I don't need more of...

Tried counseling, didn't work for me. Worked a little when i was a kid. Never found anyone I could work with after that... and I've tried a few of them.

To Lisa58 one question: What is it that you have to live for? It's a question I'm sure every depressed person asked themselves already. Always interested in answers.

For the general population reading this:
If you think you could enjoy talking to me about whatever or need a listener or something totally different, feel free to write a private message.

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: Again and again

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Sat Feb 18, 2017 9:53 am

Hi there, glad to see your doing ok.

What do you do? Are you working? You must feel bored sometimes being at home. There any family who live you with.

I can understand it must be hard everyday and it can be difficult to get out. I find going out does help with some of the issues you have got going on inside you. Whether that's confidence, anxiety or depression. It does help. It helps me.

I wouldn't say to give up. I know you have tried counselling and taking up hobbies etc but even if one thing doesn't work something might. You need an open mind and not think of anything at all and just do it. The more you push yourself the better. Again easy said then done but it's making that first. Just like talking to us.

Not sure if you have support from family but knowing someone is there for you can help. Maybe in the future you can go back to counselling but in the mean to I wouldn't just give up. It don't help.

If you feel low or lonely at anytime please come here.

Hope that helps

User avatar
TheErickDaniel
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2017 7:46 pm

Re: Again and again

Postby TheErickDaniel » Thu Feb 23, 2017 8:55 pm

Where are you from if English isn't your first language? And instead of therapists or meds, you need a life coach that holds you accountable to force you to break that pattern, that's what I do to help people change their patterns in life for good, some people call this their karma. Text me more, I'm interested in helping out +1 714-886-6581


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