Hi, I'm new and need a friend

Introductions and welcomes.

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Ccreel
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2017 4:22 pm

Hi, I'm new and need a friend

Postby Ccreel » Thu Jan 05, 2017 6:50 pm

Hello everyone,
I'm new here and have never posted to a forum before. I am a female 43 years old and have had anxiety since childhood and depression for over 20 years. I lost my father at the age of 5 from a heart attack and my mother was very guarded with her affection. I have 2 older brothers, one of which is adopted. He hated me my whole life and I was the object of his rage after my dad passed away. At the age of 11 I started experiencing severe anxiety when I found out we were moving and I would have to change schools. I suffered for over a year with nausea and vomiting daily. I don't have much self esteem or self confidence and find it hard to reach out to people. I love my real brother and I'm very close to him and have talked to him many times in the past. I guess I just don't want to burden him again because I know he will worry about me. I have taken many different meds to help with the anxiety and depression and some will help a little. I am medicated now but I'm also facing some marital problems. I have been married for 21 years and I have 2 kids, a 20 year old son away at college and a 16 year old daughter. I have not had an easy marriage and my husband was diagnosed ADHD in his 30's. He has had issues with alcohol off and on our whole marriage and its starting again. He is a very closed off person and has little interest in anything but his issues, watching football and drinking. Therefore, I don't have many people to talk to about anything, much less how to cope better with my own issues and be a good mom to my kids. I have always been the responsible one to make sure they were taken care of. He is the only one that works, and that leaves me with guilt but I really don't know how I would have raised the kids and worked too. Oh, I need to mention that he travels out of country at times for work. He will usually be gone 8 weeks at a time...he's been doing that for 18 years.
I guess my issue is that I find it hard so often to keep myself positive. I don't receive much positive feedback from anyone except the love I receive from my kids. I often feel taken for granted and just overlooked and worthless. Any advice would be helpful. I have seen counselors and worked through the death of my dad which i never grieved for and touched on other family things but i dont think they are resolved. I'm sure going back would help, just getting it arranged through insurance is a hassle because my husband has to do it. So, if there's anyone out there that could just send positive words my way, I would be grateful.

Nick5846
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 12:56 pm

Re: Hi, I'm new and need a friend

Postby Nick5846 » Fri Jan 06, 2017 1:01 pm

Hello im a new member would love to talk to someone im feeling so low please anyone who wants to talk to me thankyou

Sezzajl81
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2017 5:44 pm

Re: Hi, I'm new and need a friend

Postby Sezzajl81 » Sat Jan 07, 2017 5:47 pm

I know how u feel. I need a friend too.

Louise1980
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:19 pm

Re: Hi, I'm new and need a friend

Postby Louise1980 » Mon Jan 09, 2017 9:00 am

Hi I am also new to this site and also need a friend too. My name is Louise. I live in the West Midlands I am 36 years old. I am very happy to talk to you

encouragingsoul916
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:20 pm

Re: Hi, I'm new and need a friend

Postby encouragingsoul916 » Tue Jan 10, 2017 3:23 pm

Hey Ccreel,

I'm sorry about your situation :( I salute you for having the strength to reach out and I hope you find encouragement. You sound like an amazing mom and wife - raising 2 kids, married for 20+ years and all while handling some very challenging emotional and marital issues.

Being a stay-at-home-mom is a monumental task that definitely takes a toll but I'm sure your kids appreciate your love and sacrifice. Plus they will honor that sacrifice as they go out into the world and realize just how much you gave for them and your family. Keep your head up, you're doing an amazing thing and I hope you can find more people in your life that will constantly remind you of that :D

Ccreel
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2017 4:22 pm

Re: Hi, I'm new and need a friend

Postby Ccreel » Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:28 pm

Thank you everyone for your responses. It does help to hear some encouraging words. My issues are still the same and my husband has left for out of country business again. I have a lot weighing on my mind and I need to make some changes. I just don't know where to begin and I really don't have the confidence to make such big changes. But I do appreciate each and every person that took the time to respond to me. Your compassion has brought a smile to my face.

encouragingsoul916
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:20 pm

Re: Hi, I'm new and need a friend

Postby encouragingsoul916 » Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:29 pm

Feel free to PM If you want to share or are looking for any advice - I'd be happy to help or share anything from my life experiences that might be beneficial. I'm glad you were able to smile - that's a good thing! :)

Orchaid Lover
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2017 12:47 am

Re: Hi, I'm new and need a friend

Postby Orchaid Lover » Wed Jan 11, 2017 12:09 am

Hi.
I think most of us on here can understand how you're feeling. I personally can sympathize with the situation you face with your siblings. My older brother was abusive to me growing up and while I love my little sister I feel I can't tell her about my depression because I don't wish to burden her. A lot of people here have similar situations and a lot of people have been dealing with their depression for a long time so this is a good place to come and talk to people who will understand how you're feeling.
I hope you're doing well,
Orchaid Lover


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