Hello all... Would appreciate some feedback

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SimplyMe
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:57 pm
Location: Canada

Hello all... Would appreciate some feedback

Postby SimplyMe » Wed Oct 12, 2016 12:54 pm

Well, here I go. This is a little bit of a step for me, and figure this is a good starting place.

My boyfriend told me soon after we met that I should be careful and aware, as he was noticing some similarities between my emotional state and his when he was my age (he is a little older than I am). Fast forward almost a year, and he tells me that I should see a doctor or get help of some kind, no question. He himself has depression, so he would know first hand what he's talking about I figure.

But here's where I start to struggle. I love to learn, and so naturally when this idea was presented to me that I may have depression, I started doing a little research. I began to get frustrated, as I couldn't find much that seemed to 'fit' with me. Do I feel low, sad, etc for 2 weeks at a time? No. A day, maybe two, then somehow I snap out of it. Then I came across an article on "high functioning depression". So I think, ya, this sounds closer to me. I take care of my kids, move up in my job, got good grades when I was in school, able to get a long with just about anyone... yet something feels off with me. I think the biggest things I related to in the article were the fact that on the outside I look and act fine, but on the inside I am struggling. And there really is no REASON for it. The other thing I related to was how hard someone with high functioning depression is on themselves. Any minor mistake I make feels like the end of the world to me (do you know how many times I've reread and rewritten this post so far??). I always feel like I am not doing good enough or I am plain not good enough for people. Like I am a nuisance or a burden to others.

Then again, I find things with this picture that I don't fit into. I love to read, and still enjoy it. Yes, I have days where I just want to go to bed and nothing seems worthwhile, but like I said before, that lasts for maybe a day. Sometimes not even.

I know something is up with me. Lots of times I just feel wrong. Something is off and I don't know what. For example, last night, I just felt lost. Was watching my child at soccer practice, and I felt proud, I liked seeing her enjoy playing, but I couldn't help but feel like I was drifting.

I guess my main point here is asking if anyone else has had similar feelings or experiences. I feel like I would be wasting time going to a doctor at this point as nothing seems majorly wrong yet, besides the fact it would be hard to get that much time off work right now. But it's starting to get to me. I feel like I'm being fake; I'm pretending to be a happy optimistic gal but when no one is looking I am angry with myself.

Elisabeth75
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2020 11:13 am

Re: Hello all... Would appreciate some feedback

Postby Elisabeth75 » Fri Jul 24, 2020 3:43 am

SimplyMe wrote:Well, here I go. This is a little bit of a step for me, and figure this is a good starting place.

My boyfriend told me soon after we met that I should be careful and aware, as he was noticing some similarities between my emotional state and his when he was my age (he is a little older than I am). Fast forward almost a year, and he tells me that I should see a doctor or get help of some kind, no question. He himself has depression, so he would know first hand what he's talking about I figure.

But here's where I start to struggle. I love to learn, and so naturally when this idea was presented to me that I may have depression, I started doing a little research. I began to get frustrated, as I couldn't find much that seemed to 'fit' with me. Do I feel low, sad, etc for 2 weeks at a time? No. A day, maybe two, then somehow I snap out of it. Then I came across an article on "high functioning depression". So I think, ya, this sounds closer to me. I take care of my kids, move up in my job, got good grades when I was in school, able to get a long with just about anyone... yet something feels off with me. I think the biggest things I related to in the article were the fact that on the outside I look and act fine, but on the inside I am struggling. And there really is no REASON for it. The other thing I related to was how hard someone with high functioning depression is on themselves. Any minor mistake I make feels like the end of the world to me (do you know how many times I've reread and rewritten this post so far??). I always feel like I am not doing good enough or I am plain not good enough for people. Like I am a nuisance or a burden to others.

Then again, I find things with this picture that I don't fit into. I love to read, and still enjoy it. Yes, I have days where I just want to go to bed and nothing seems worthwhile, but like I said before, that lasts for maybe a day. Sometimes not even.

I know something is up with me. Lots of times I just feel wrong. Something is off and I don't know what. For example, last night, I just felt lost. Was watching my child at soccer practice, and I felt proud, I liked seeing her enjoy playing, but I couldn't help but feel like I was drifting.

I guess my main point here is asking if anyone else has had similar feelings or experiences. I feel like I would be wasting time going to a doctor at this point as nothing seems majorly wrong yet, besides the fact it would be hard to get that much time off work right now. But it's starting to get to me. I feel like I'm being fake; I'm pretending to be a happy optimistic gal but when no one is looking I am angry with myself.


A very difficult story, I hope you get better very quickly.


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