depressed elderly

[Lee66]

I'm new also. After a long career, I basically stopped work to look after my mother due to her illnesses and dementia.
After she passed away, almost 2 years ago, I tried to keep busy visiting friends and I had hoped to work but so far my age 66 and not having worked for the time I was caring for her has made it so far impossible to find a job. I'm also finding it tight with money, another reason I hoped to work again. I haven't any other family. I just feel I cannot figure things out. Also everyone I know seem to have great lives and if I ever mention feeling depressed they don't understand and just think I have to get on with things. It's like life has become just trying to survive, not much else. I somehow think there is no answer but I thought I'd post here anyway.
My best wishes to all the others here who are suffering.

[Helloraspberries1]

Hi Lee66, welcome to the forums.

I can see from your post that you have been going through ever since you been looking after your mum from ill health. I know that couldn't be easy and seeing the effect it's had on you has obviously taken its tool.

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum what passed away. I'm sure she was a wonderful person to be around.

You mentioned work. Is there anyway you can ask for support looking for work? From Job Centre, Recruitment Agencies etc? I believe your not too fuss in what you wanna do but if your finding it hard it be a good idea to have a look at those options and also see if there's any temporary work or contract work you can do in the mean time. What do you think?

It might be a good idea to talk to your doctor if you have chance to tell them how you been feeling. They might also provide you with support too.

I hope that helps and please remember were here.

Good Luck

Helloraspberries1

[Lee66]

Thanks Helloraspberries1 for your reply. I cannot login on my tablet so trying on a friend's desktop.
Your suggestions are appreciated. I have registered with a job center and I try to keep positive that something will happen regarding some work opportunity. I'm just getting over the flu so wasn't so active recently.

I can't seem to get past watching my Mother suffer so much. I keep reliving everything. It's like I wish I could have done more. Dementia is a horrible disease and it seems we can only learn about it by watching someone. I wish I had known more before it happened. I think I could have understood better while it was happening.

Thanks again for your encouragement. It's good there is this place where people understand feelings.

[Helloraspberries1]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that your not feeling well. I hope you get better soon.

I'm pleased to hear that you have signed up with the job centre. Glad to know they are helping you with work at the moment and hopefully opportunity arises for you.

Yeah losing anyone can be hard. It can take time to grieve. I believe your still in that process. It's fine to still grieve over your mum. It's normal. No one can say otherwise.

You couldn't of done more. Please don't beat yourself up. You did all you could. No one knows what life can be like untill you experienced the bad.

Remember we're always here. Your welcome here anytime.

Hugs x

[Rose58]

People who have never had to deal with depression do have trouble understanding it. Do you feel as though you have grieved your moms passing succesfully? Moving through and dealing with grief is very important. Being a care giver and dealing with Dementia takes a lot in itself. Maybe there's a grief group in your area for people that have gone through similar situations you could get involved in. Something else that has helped me is volunteering. Maybe that could even turn into a regular job. Exercise is extremely helpful too. Getting out into the sunshine and fresh air is chocked full of lovely benefits. We all need some of that in our lives. Sunshine gives us vitamin D, it helps us sleep better and reduces sickness. Walking has so many health benefits also. These are some great natural ways to deal with depression. I suffered from it for many years of my life and all these things have really helped me. If you're doing this and still find that your really struggling you may want to consider consulting your doctor on medical options. Prayer is a huge help for me also. I wish you the very best.