First post, new today
Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:29 pm
My name is Lisa and I have suffered from depression all my life, but have never really been treated for it. I have been given anxiety pills before, but am not under a doctor's care at this point. I went to see a councelor last fall, but clammed up because I thought I was going to see a female and it ended up being a male doctor. I don't know if that made any difference anyway. I just feel weird talking about my problems and not really sure what all of them are anyway. I hate going to my medical doctor about all this, I guess I'm kind of embarrassed or something, but I just don't want to talk to him about it either. Things are really awful in my life and I also suffer from adult ADD although I have never been diagnosed with that, I now know what it was that was my problem in school. Back then no one had even heard of ADD. I dont know where to turn or who to turn to. My husband thinks all I need to do is just "snap out of it", but I think I'm going to just SNAP. I have anger issues that seem to be getting worse. Something that I do that I have NEVER told anyone is that I hit myself. Not SUPER (sometimes I do put bruises on me) hard and I don't cut myself or really bad things, but I am worried that one day it might lead to that or something. I do bang my head aginst things and hit my head alot. Sometimes I just want to pull my eyeballs out. I have no close family. My parents are dead (my mothers death 4 years ago has made me worse). I have only one brother who lives 9 hours away and we don't get to talk very often. We are 11 years different in ages (him being older) and sowe were never really "close" growing up so that bothers me too. He calls about once every 3 weeks or so, but it's just to say a quick hi and ask me whats happeneing, which nothing is ever happeneing in my life, except I am depressed and I don't want him to know it. I just don't feel comfortable talking about whats going on with me to anyone, especially a doctor so what do I do? I just can't talk to anyone really. Is there anything I can do? I need advice badly. Thanks for reading my rambling. Lisa